I’m not into blog-posting

Forced bi confuses me.

So do kidney beans, but that’s another post entirely.

One of my main issues with forced bi is that it implies that homosexuality is humiliating or degrading.  That’s insulting to a lot of people.  If homosexuality is degrading, it also brings with it the implication that hetero people are somehow above or better than gays/lesbians/bi.

I’ve got mixed feelings on the “forced” part.  In consensual bdsm, nothing is truly forced.  Unless we’re talking about consensual nonconsensual play, which is a different story altogether.  But I understand the appeal of the use of force, of that feeling of helplessness.  The use of force is sexy.  It makes people turn all jellylike.  So I don’t take much issue with them employing the word “forced”.  I know what they mean.

What really baffles me is the number of guys who seek out this type of play, then pretend they don’t want to do it.  They post about how they’d just love to be made to suck a big cock and swallow his cum, and they go into graphic detail about these well-thought-out fantasies.  They even post personal ads seeking experiences like this.  They make a real effort chasing bisexual encounters.  But they claim they’re not bi.  They want to be sexual with members of their own gender, and they seek it out, but they’re not bi.  If you find it hot and you want to do it, why not just admit that you want it?  Saying they don’t want it, yet going after it at the same time, is no different than going to a party seeking to get caned while claiming you’re vanilla and not into pain.

Personally, I don’t go down on anyone I’m not attracted to, regardless of gender.  Forced bi, with me, is no different than trying to get me to go down on a woman I don’t find attractive.  Either way, it’s not going to happen.  I don’t care about the gender; what I care about is the level of attraction.  I haven’t yet met a man I’m attracted to.  You can’t force attraction.

So why don’t you see these people posting about how they want to be forced to go down on a woman with green teeth, hairy moles, and severe body odor?  If they really want to be forced to go down on someone they claim they aren’t attracted to, this should satisfy them just as much.

I’ve never met anyone in person who takes the “I’m straight but I want to suck cock” approach which is so popular online.  Locally, people who seek bi-sex are honest about being bi.  They don’t try to say that they’re not really bi.  But there are a lot of people out there who just haven’t come to terms with their feelings and desires, and so they lie to themselves and others.  That’s not to say it’s easy to come to terms with one’s desires; lots of people struggle with that, whether it’s bdsm, sexual orientation, or whatever.  It’s not always easy to admit your desires to others or to yourself.  There’s the whole “it’s wrong, and there’s something wrong with me for wanting this” mindset that creeps in.  When that mindset does creep in, we either give in to it and suppress our feelings, or we beat it with a stick until it goes and bothers someone else.

sexy slime slurping

My last relationship was the first in which I was made to eat my cum.  Not every time, since that would be too predictable, but probably about half the time.  It was enough to really make me wonder as I approached the edge of orgasm; was she going to make me lick up all of the slimy mess, or just hand me a couple paper towels?  I’d much prefer to just wipe it off, but sometimes I wasn’t given that option.

Being made to eat my cum isn’t something I ever thought I’d find erotic.  It’s actually pretty disgusting.  But that’s part of the appeal.  Being forced to do something disgusting can have an erotic quality to it.  It doesn’t taste all that great (though the taste can vary with diet) and the texture is just plain slimy.  Eew.  Feeling it slither down my throat sometimes makes me shudder a little.  Yet when I’m made to eat it, there’s a certain arousing quality, in spite of the yuck factor.  This is one of those things that has a contradictory yes/no quality to it; it turns me on, but at the same time, I really want it to stop.

What heightens this even more is that most guys experience a “drop” after cumming.  This doesn’t happen with tantric/nonejaculatory orgasms though.  This drop makes it much harder to lick it up. Approaching orgasm, I think, “If she makes me lick it up, that’ll be pretty hot.”  But after actually having the orgasm, it’s more of a, “Please, no, don’t make me do this, it’s gross.”

This displeasurable aspect heightens the sense of d/s between us as well.  It’s not something I want to do, but she’s making me do it anyway.  I feel smaller in a way, like she’s twenty feet tall.  I feel powerless and at her mercy.

As always, variety adds another dimension to this type of play.  There are so many ways to incorporate cum-eating into the scene- licking it straight out of her hand, sucking it off of her strap-on, licking it off her soles, cumming on her sock which is then used as a gag, slurping it off of her asshole, cumming in a glass of her piss before being made to drink it………the possibilities are endless.

Do you have any favorite methods that I didn’t mention here?  Or thoughts on cum-eating?  Let’s hear them!

a few words on words

Why is it that whenever people use the phrase “je ne sais quoi”, they always feel compelled to put “certain” right before it?  You hardly ever hear “je ne sais quoi” without being prefixed by “certain”.  Do people who do this just not understand what this means and feel drawn to add “certain” simply because they think it has to be part of the phrase?  I think a lot of the time, they really don’t know what it means and are just trying to be trendy and sophisticated by slipping this phrase into conversation.  “Look at me, I can use foreign words!  I’m clever!  But I have to do it in a formulaic, cookie-cutter way because I can’t think for myself!”

Speaking of trendy, newscasters are at it again.  Whenever they talked about Vladimir Putin (who is a scary little man) they used to pronounce it “PYOOT-n”.  Now it’s “POOT-n”.  That’s just fun to say.  POOT-n!  But why the sudden change?  They all made the change in pronunciation around the same time, within a couple weeks of each other.  Did he have a news conference announcing, “You’ve all been pronouncing my name wrong all this time.  It’s POOT-n.  And I just nuked your house.”

march of the sexist buttwads

In a way, I envy people in male-dominant/female-submissive relationships.  Not all, of course.  But out of the people I know, most of whom are in that type of relationship since the local scene is horribly lopsided, there seems to be more balance.

In male-dominant relationships, the sub does nice things for the dom.  She’s a sub.  Subs tend to do that.  And the dom does nice things for the sub as well.  Got to take care of the one you love.  Balance.

Gay and lesbian relationships also generally show that balance.  You don’t see two lesbians standing at the door staring at each other, each waiting for the other to open the door.

However.

In female-dominant/male-submissive relationships, it’s harder to find people who are open to that balance.  The sub is expected not only to fulfill his subbly duties, but also to be responsible for the romance.  And the dom is expected to just sit back and tell the sub what she wants.  Not only that, but male doms tend to actually talk to someone they’re interested in; the majority of female doms most often expect to be approached, to be wowed while they sit back and critique.

This all comes down to society’s sexist idea of chivalry.  They think that chivalry involves men doing nice things for women, ignoring the fact that women are equally capable of (and responsible for) romance.  In both types of relationship, the man is expected to take care of the romance, to take care of his lady. Only the female subs are expected to return the effort.  The doms are somehow above all this; they can receive romance, but doing something nice for the sub is beneath them.

Some of the other femdomers I’ve run into take this one-sided approach.  It’s more common online, but I see it in person too.  On the other hand, the majority of male-dominant/female-submissive couples I know tend to have a more egalitarian groove.  Obviously this isn’t true for everyone.  There are always exceptions.  But it’s become enough of a pattern to become easily visible.

I see so many male subs not only submitting and taking care of the doms, but also trying to sweep them off their feet.  Meanwhile, she just sits back and says, “Gimmie gimmie gimmie”.  Where’s the effort on her part?  Where’s the romance?  This is nothing more than laziness and greed.  I’d rather not be in a relationship with Jabba the Hutt, thank you.

If the relationship is to last (regardless of d/s configuration) both people need to make an effort to court each other.  It runs both ways.  Love and d/s don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Love means making an effort.  Yes, even if you’re dominant.  It’s important to show love, not just receive it.  Merely accepting someone’s love, submission, and trust is not enough.

I’ve been in relationships where the (dominant) woman I was with would sometimes open a door for me, as I did for her.  I loved the looks people would give me.  Vanilla women would glare.  The bdsmers would look confused.  It was beautiful every time.  “*gasp* You’re not following the script!”

I have yet to hear a sensible explanation of why I should buy into the traditional sexist idea of gender-based chivalry.  Usually all I hear is, “Because it’s nice” or, “It’s always been done that way”.  Hmm.  It’s “nice”.  So it’s not nice for a woman to be romantic or make an effort?  And just because other people, past or present, have done something, what does that have to do with me?  Paying women less is something that’s always been done; does that mean we should follow suit?  Why should I be a sheep who blindly follows their lead?  That’s why I’m not real big on tradition in general.  I don’t feel compelled to do things just because others have done them in the past.  But when those traditions are sexist, I stand firmly against them.

I refuse to believe that my cock excludes me from being on the receiving end of romance.  Being born a certain gender is not an excuse to be treated better or worse than someone else.

I definitely make an effort to treat the one I’m with well.  But I expect the same.  Romance is important.  When you love someone, you show it.  Regardless of gender or d/s status.

what brings you here?

Here are some of the more colorful search engine terms that have recently brought people here-

“get it on my cock”  (What is “it”?  A Cadillac?  You want a Cadillac on your cock?)

“pure domme”  (as opposed to watered down partial domme?  domme extract?)

“sexy kink is body”  (It sure is.)

“i play with my cock”  (Good for you.  And you were searching for this online because……?)

“crackheads swallowing cum”  (ummmmm………)

grrrrrr

This past weekend, I went to a 2-day bdsm event in the next state with a few friends.  There were about ten other people there from our city as well, and over 200 others.  Lots of workshops during the day, and a party both nights.  Definitely a fun time.

On the second night, I ended up playing with a good friend, one of the people I carpooled with.  She’s always loads of fun to play with.  She rides that balance between sexy, fun, and “OW OW OW MAKE IT STOP PLEEEEASE!!!”.  We did cbt.  She tied my arms behind my back and sat in a chair, with me standing in front of her.  She started to slap my balls, first gently, then harder and harder.  Then she got out some rather large knitting needles and beat my balls with those for a while.

That was the warm-up.

Next she had me kneel down in front of her with my legs spread comfortably.  That’s when she started kicking.  Not full-force field-goal style kicks, but powerful enough to make me gasp, whimper, and, at one point, collapse to the floor.  Yum.

After a couple minutes of this, I started to get a bit lightheaded.  That’s not normal for me.  We’ve done this harder and longer in the past without any problems.  So I told her, and I sat down on the floor.  It kept getting worse, and everything started to get that weird boxed-in sound.  I laid on my back and put my knees up.  A couple minutes later, I felt better.  So that was the end of the scene.

This happened the last time we played too.  Same thing- lightheadedness during cbt, though the first time it wasn’t as intense as it was this weekend.  That first time, it was at a local party at a public dungeon.  But it was hot in that dungeon, so I attributed it to that.  This past weekend, it was fairly hot in the play space too, though not as bad as the dungeon here was.   So I’m not sure if I can chalk it up to the heat or not.  Apart from these two times, this has never happened before.  I’m thinking that if we can do this in private (we occasionally play privately) without any problems, then it’s got to be the heat.  She always keeps her place cool.  So if there are no problems at her place, then it’s the heat that did it.  But if it does happen, I’m not sure what to make of it.  Ball-kicking is one of my favorite types of play, and I’d much rather not have to give it up.

I’m pissed off that this happened at all.  It was right when things were getting nice and intense, right at that point when my brain is screaming “yes” and “no” at the same time. I feel like I disappointed her by taking away a great scene.  She’s made it clear that she knows it’s not my fault, and she’s not mad or anything.  But I am.  This shouldn’t have happened.

I did get to take my new impact implement case.  It came the day before we left, so I didn’t get a chance to modify the interior.  The foam needed removed in order to make it roomier.  I trimmed the foam some with a razor and used it; it worked, but didn’t look the greatest inside.  So I removed the foam once we got back, and right now I’m waiting for the glue to dry- I bought some foam batting and some red crushed-velvet-ish fabric, and I’m redoing the interior with that.

And while I didn’t get to try my new cane, it’s coming.  She wants to try that sometime, along with giving me a thorough spanking with vampire gloves.  I’m very much looking forward to that.

the pitfalls of one-handed typing

Countless people online write outlandish fantasies and try to pass them off as reality.  Usually they make me laugh, not only because of the first-grade grammar and spelling, but mainly because they actually expect people to believe them.  Usually what they post reads something like this:

my wife enslaved me locked my cock up permanintly in chastty tube and welded the lock shut i havent cum in 5 years and now i do all the houswork and i signed a contract to give her all my money and possessissions and she gives me chores and she goes out oon dates with her lovers and she comes home and i eat their slimy cum out of her pussy and she brings home her friends who are all cheerleeders and they dress me up in lingeries and sisy maid uinform and they all laugh at me and there boyfriends are their too and they laugh at me and i serve them drinks and they make me suk there big cocks and eat all the cum and cum on myu face and they videotappe it and put it online and then old ladies watch it online and laugh at me while I sukc theyre boyfriends cocks wearing maid otufit and there bofriends laugh because my cock is small and i cant cum because my wife locked my cock up permanently and i havent cum in 11 years and i sleep in a little cage in the basement evry night and she goes out with big black studs with big cocks and she make me her toilet i have to drink all her pis she saves it all in a bucket and she saves all her friends piss too and make me drink it all every day and i have too eat her shit she make me swalow it all its my place as a inferior male and she takes me to the secret femdom society where all woman are domes and all men are slavs and worhsip the superioior woman there and she doesnt let me cum i havnt cum in 14 years

What I don’t understand is why they feel compelled to try to convince others that this is reality.  Why not just call it fiction and leave it at that?

Another puzzler is the fact that these same people are usually the same ones who give extreme advice to real people who have real problems.  Usually they say something about the advice-seeker not being submissive enough, that they should do all the housework and never disagree, and that they should be in a state of permanent chastity.  Yeah, brilliant thinking there, suppository-breath.  I’m sure that advice will really help.

Do they actually expect people to believe this?  What would compel someone to post such obvious fiction while trying to frame it up as reality?  If you want to write femdom fiction, go for it.  But don’t try to insult our intelligence by telling us it’s all real.  And how about using spell-check?  Maybe take an introductory grammar course too.  But of course, you’ll have to wait until you’re done having your flesh whipped to shreds by the Secret Femdom Society™.