Forced bi confuses me.
So do kidney beans, but that’s another post entirely.
One of my main issues with forced bi is that it implies that homosexuality is humiliating or degrading. That’s insulting to a lot of people. If homosexuality is degrading, it also brings with it the implication that hetero people are somehow above or better than gays/lesbians/bi.
I’ve got mixed feelings on the “forced” part. In consensual bdsm, nothing is truly forced. Unless we’re talking about consensual nonconsensual play, which is a different story altogether. But I understand the appeal of the use of force, of that feeling of helplessness. The use of force is sexy. It makes people turn all jellylike. So I don’t take much issue with them employing the word “forced”. I know what they mean.
What really baffles me is the number of guys who seek out this type of play, then pretend they don’t want to do it. They post about how they’d just love to be made to suck a big cock and swallow his cum, and they go into graphic detail about these well-thought-out fantasies. They even post personal ads seeking experiences like this. They make a real effort chasing bisexual encounters. But they claim they’re not bi. They want to be sexual with members of their own gender, and they seek it out, but they’re not bi. If you find it hot and you want to do it, why not just admit that you want it? Saying they don’t want it, yet going after it at the same time, is no different than going to a party seeking to get caned while claiming you’re vanilla and not into pain.
Personally, I don’t go down on anyone I’m not attracted to, regardless of gender. Forced bi, with me, is no different than trying to get me to go down on a woman I don’t find attractive. Either way, it’s not going to happen. I don’t care about the gender; what I care about is the level of attraction. I haven’t yet met a man I’m attracted to. You can’t force attraction.
So why don’t you see these people posting about how they want to be forced to go down on a woman with green teeth, hairy moles, and severe body odor? If they really want to be forced to go down on someone they claim they aren’t attracted to, this should satisfy them just as much.
I’ve never met anyone in person who takes the “I’m straight but I want to suck cock” approach which is so popular online. Locally, people who seek bi-sex are honest about being bi. They don’t try to say that they’re not really bi. But there are a lot of people out there who just haven’t come to terms with their feelings and desires, and so they lie to themselves and others. That’s not to say it’s easy to come to terms with one’s desires; lots of people struggle with that, whether it’s bdsm, sexual orientation, or whatever. It’s not always easy to admit your desires to others or to yourself. There’s the whole “it’s wrong, and there’s something wrong with me for wanting this” mindset that creeps in. When that mindset does creep in, we either give in to it and suppress our feelings, or we beat it with a stick until it goes and bothers someone else.