Some words and phrases in bdsm make me shudder. Not so much for the words themselves, but for the connotations they have in my head, gleaned from my experiences.
A couple titles have this effect on me. One is “goddess”. Most of the people I’ve run into who bestow this title on themselves are arrogant and insecure. These are usually the ones who have to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. This level of arrogance surpasses even male doms, some of whom are notoriously arrogant. How many men do you know who seriously call themselves gods? If you’re constantly having to prop yourself up and give yourself lofty titles, alway seeking confirmation of your exalted status, that’s not a sign of strength. It’s one of weakness.
Another cringe-inducing title is “princess”. Eew. Whether it’s in a bdsm context or a ‘nilla one, it smacks of laziness, greed, and self-centeredness. There’s a big difference between “dominant woman” and “whiny, spoiled, self-entitled brat”. They often take the “gimmie gimmie gimmie” approach; rather than being dominant, they just sit back and make demands. They usually have an “it’s all about me” attitude as well. To that self-absorbed attitude, I say that’s alright……if it’s all about you, I don’t need to be in the picture. Bye.
And some people are desperate enough to put up with these attitudes since it’s the closest they’ll ever get to anything remotely resembling bdsm. Thankfully, this is much more common online than it is in the real world.