Hypocrisy in Motion

Some people in the bdsm community have a problem with switches.  They say switches are just confused.  Or that they aren’t “really” into bdsm.  They’re treated even worse than the ultimate evil scum, submissive men.  That’s pretty bad when you consider that submissive men eat puppies and are solely responsible for our dependence on foreign oil.

(Not all communities do this, of course.  It’s often the higher-protocol, ritualized, structured communities that do this.  People in the bdsm group that I’m the most involved with don’t take this approach; people there tend to feel that being a switch is a legitimate option.)

Here’s the part I don’t get:  Those who don’t feel switches are valid usually don’t seem to have a problem with bisexuality.  At least in women.  You don’t hear them talking about how bisexuals are just “confused” or aren’t really into sexuality.

While I don’t switch, I know a lot of switches.  I was in a great relationship with one.  I respect them just as readily as I do anyone else.  And on a cerebral level, I understand the appeal.  They get the best of both worlds.  Honestly, I’m a bit jealous.  And I feel that switching makes someone more empathetic and understanding as to what it’s like on the other side.

I like Chinese food.  And Italian.  Mexican and American too.  I like heavy metal, reggae, techno, and jazz.  I play both guitar and bass.  Does this mean I’m just confused as well?  Am I not really into music and food?  Or do I simply have an appreciation for different flavors?

I don’t see why people feel that others should have to pick just one thing to enjoy.  If you like more than one, go for it!  And if you only like one flavor, that’s okay too.  But I don’t think that anyone has the right to say, “You have no place in bdsm” just because someone doesn’t do things the same way.

5 Responses to “Hypocrisy in Motion”

  1. Elle Says:

    Well said!

    People just irritate me. There seems to be a widespread disease that makes people blind to the fact that others can be different. How boring the world would be, if everyone were just like me. And I think being a switch is probably really cool. Those other people? They’re probably just jealous 😉

    Oh and… “That’s pretty bad when you consider that submissive men eat puppies and are solely responsible for our dependence on foreign oil.” Yes. Yes, that’s very true. That’s why I don’t get a puppy, I’m afraid Boy Toy’d eat it.

  2. pureliquidkink Says:


    I think it would rock to be a switch. But topping/dominance just doesn’t appeal to me. I can understand why it appeals to others, but it’s just not something I could get into.

    I’d elaborate, but I just heard a dog down the street had puppies, so I have to go now.

  3. Tom Allen Says:

    I can’t remember where I wrote this last year, but a while back when I used to hang out at clubs with my gay friends, they used to snipe at some of the bi guys who came in, calling them “weekend warriors.” I used to think that was odd, but my gay SIL assures me that it’s still pretty common.

    I think it has something to do with people needing to label or categorize other people in a binary fashion. You’re this or that. In or out. Us or them. For or against.

  4. pureliquidkink Says:

    That’s most likely true. Insecure people sometimes feel threatened by things they can’t label. In labeling something, they feel they have power over it or some level of control. And as Elle said, there’s probably some jealousy thrown in there too.

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