Confidence- Now in a Convenient Travel Size!

So many subs consistently put themselves down, and they wonder why they have so much trouble finding somebody. Usually, they blame it on the mythological ratio of dominant women to submissive men. Introspection isn’t always easy, and it takes less effort to blame it on some external factor that you have no control over.

It’s time to look at yourself and your approach.

“Worthless” is a pretty common descriptor they use. Seriously, if you’re worthless, and you’re giving yourself to someone else, what kind of gift is that? “Here, have a worthless piece of crap.” Gee, thanks.

Others try to degrade or humiliate themselves in the hopes of impressing someone. Come on, guys, leave that to her. If you humiliate yourself, that leaves none for her. You’ve already done it, so she can’t. On top of that, this approach assumes that a scene has already started, and that’s making a pretty big assumption. Some find that insulting. You may be all horned up, but you can’t just jump right to the scene without making some sort of connection with that person first.

How about growing a spine? What fun is it to dominate a limp noodle?

Come closer and I’ll tell you a secret. Ready? Most women enjoy it more when they dominate men who are strong, confident (but not arrogant) and have a sense of self-worth. Not only that, but the pure attraction and chemistry usually flow in both directions a lot better when you’re sure of yourself.

Get up off your knees and have a normal conversation. If there’s chemistry, she’ll put you back on your knees soon enough.

4 Responses to “Confidence- Now in a Convenient Travel Size!”

  1. Tom Allen Says:

    A long time ago I was seeing a girl, and I gently broached the subject of kink to see how receptive she’d be. Her response was something like “Eww, you mean a guy who wants me to say ‘Crawl you miserable worm’ and all that? Why would I want to be with some wimpy guy like that?”

    Somehow, that’s the conception she had of femdom play, and it squicked her pretty badly. Ironically, she was an Amazon – athletic, strong, and determined, and had a great body that would have looked awesome in leather. Ah, well. History.

    Unfortunately, the miserable worm stereotype is the one that seems to have stuck in the public mind, so pretty much anyone exploring D/s is going to adopt them, much to the annoyance of actual dominants.

  2. Submission of the strong-willed | Kink Unleashed Says:

    […] to me, but I also love his spirit and it’s with a lot of fondness that I call him a brat. Roo-roo had a nice way of putting it, a couple weeks back: “What fun is it to dominate a limp […]

  3. westfal Says:

    …have never understood the wimp profile for us guy subs being a non-sissie type myself…..have always had the more maso orientation of suffering well for Her and serving and worshipping, which doesn’t conflict with being masculine, confident,worldly successul……so guess its just a different orientation …….maybe we should have 2 segments for male subs= A) non-sissies and non worms…however else described and B) s and w …….wonder if the Dommes would be tickled with that??


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