One of the more common things I hear in regard to teasing & denial comes mostly from the guys; they say that they’re more attentive when they’re locked up.
I call bullshit.
How about taking some responsibility for your actions, wheezy? You control your actions. How much attention you give is entirely in your own hands. It has nothing to do with whether or not your cock is in a cage. The lack of a chastity device does not prevent you in any way from treating your partner well. If you choose to be less attentive when you’re not locked up, that’s your own choice, and you should be held accountable for it.
This is simply manipulative behavior. People use this as an excuse to engage in the type of play (t&d) that they enjoy. “Oh, I’m not being attentive……you’d better lock me up.” This is no different than a parent buying a toy for a kid who’s screaming and throwing a tantrum; rewarding negative behavior only reinforces that behavior.
If you love the other person, treat him/her well. Period. It has nothing to do with gender, d/s orientation, or whether or not your cock is locked up.