Bland BDSM

C’mon, people, why so serious and dull?

What happened to bdsm being fun, sexy, and cathartic? Instead, so many turn it into something bland. A struggle. Mundane.

They talk of tasks, housework, protocol, and structure, and then they wonder why their sex drives are nil. Restricting yourself with these things is no different than restricting yourself to missionary-only sex. Remember the spark you had when you first started exploring bdsm? And all the things that turned you on? What happened? They’ve been replaced by some staid script, a rule book.

If you remove the sexiness from your relationship, is it really any wonder that things tend to get dull? Even though you still talk about living “the lifestyle”? You’ve got a big toy bag full of toys, yet you only use them to enforce the scripted nature of the relationship rather than using them for bonding, fun, or love. Do you need a reason to play? Really? Does it always have to drive some point home, to be a punishment or reward? What happened to doing something because you enjoy it? If you’re both into it, do it. You don’t need an excuse. You don’t have to wait for a reason.

Bring back the things that brought you into bdsm, and the flame will return. Life is better when you eliminate the extraneous.

One Response to “Bland BDSM”

  1. westfal Says:

    …again kind of related to my earlier comment, maybe each individual needs to self audit if they are more serious PE driven and the BDSM supports that or v versa if they just want enough pe to support fun time BDSM= the 2 are different psychological drivers and appeal to different folks so…


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