Wicked ’10

Recently I mentioned an amazing night at a weekend bdsm event in Ohio. There was more.

On the night that I mentioned in the “fireworks” post, I was also organizing another nekkid stampede. The last time we (“we” being a group of about 20 of us from Pittsburgh) were at this event, five of us ran naked down the halls of the host hotel screaming, “I’M NAKED!!!” Very fun. And since the bdsmers take over the hotel for this event, we didn’t have to worry about any kids or ‘nillafolk being exposed to this. (The staff were under orders to stay out of certain hallways and event area.) This time around, about a dozen people expressed interest, plus a few were on the fence. Unfortunately, people just aren’t reliable. Two showed up. Two. So the three of us still ran naked and screaming, and we even got some applause at one point. But it was very disappointing that so many flaked out. To be fair, a few did have legitimate reasons for backing out, but the majority simply flaked. So I doubt we’ll be doing this again unless I can persuade some more dependable people to participate.

The other interesting thing that happened at this event involved me getting a black eye. No, I didn’t get into a barfight with an 80-year-old lady. But I did get beat up by a girl.

The same woman who kept me locked up and made me drink her piss in the “fireworks” post also played with me another night. The “fireworks” night was Saturday, but we also played on Friday night.

We’d done some heavier face-slapping in the past, and it went over well. (Actual slaps, not little taps.) We’ve recently begun pushing every type of play that we do even further. That includes slapping. At one point during our scene on Friday night, she had me laying on my back. She then put my arms down by my sides and straddled my chest/abdomen, pinning my arms (and the rest of me) down. Bondage-less bondage. Tasty. She then started to slap me and toy with me, like a wild cat slowly torturing her prey. Slap, slap, pause, slap, slap, slap, laugh, slap……over and over. I struggled but couldn’t break free, push her off, or even get an arm loose. The panic started to set in. I couldn’t get out, and she wouldn’t stop slapping me. I managed to get out an occasional “please” but she was relentless. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Slap, slap. My struggling wasn’t doing any good.

I’m not sure how long she’d been slapping me. In reality, it probably wasn’t more than a few minutes, but it felt like 10-15 minutes. She stopped, and we moved on to some impact play. After about five minutes of that, she gave me a strange look, and when I asked what was the matter, she said, “Go look in the mirror.” The left side of my face was swollen. Bad.

We stopped the scene right then. She went down the hall to the ice machine and got me a bag of ice. I kept the ice on my face for about half an hour, and the swelling subsided slightly. Still, I expected to wake up looking like Popeye. Luckily I didn’t. But I did get a black eye from it, as well as deep yellow bruising from my jawline to my eye. A week and a half later, I still have a dark yellow area beneath the eye. She wasn’t hitting me any harder (or any differently) than she had before, and there weren’t any individual slaps that I feel caught me wrong. In other words, I don’t feel it was a technique problem that caused the black eye. I don’t know if it was just the number of slaps that did it, or if it was something else.

Looking back, it was an amazing scene. I felt so powerless beneath her. I couldn’t stop her. Incredibly hot, even if I was getting panicky at the time. Some of the best scenes have that quality- In the moment, I really want it to stop, but looking back afterward, I think, “Wow that was hot!”

So now there’s the problem of not being able to push this type of play without the risk of another black eye. If I get another one, people will definitely think I’m in an abusive relationship or something along those lines. I’d like to try again, but now I have this nagging worry in the back of my mind. And I’m not sure how to get past that. We could try more slapping, but without pushing quite as hard, and see how that goes.

Testicle Torment (Take Two)

Last night was the workshop on genitorture and cbt. It went well. There was an average turnout. While I didn’t count the number of attendees, I’d guess there were between 30 and 45 people there. There most likely would’ve been more people there if it weren’t for the roads being sloppy and it being V-day weekend.

Personally, I think repeatedly kicking someone in the balls is preferable to prepackaged cliché flowers and dinner.

I was worried since I’d never presented a demo before, and I’m not much of a public speaker. My voice is usually pretty quiet, and I get uncomfortable being the center of attention. In spite of that, I received lots of compliments afterward on how I carried myself, even if I was shaking inside. It helped that I knew 3/4 of the people there. I have no issues with public nudity in the bdsm community, since I play fairly often at public events.

We had about an hour and a half total to work with, so about 45 minutes for the cbt half and 45 for the genitorture half. Unfortunately the cbt part ran a little long. We used almost an hour, which left 30 minutes for genitorture. But they did extremely well in the time they had for that. They kept it concise, entertaining, and informative. Everyone enjoyed both halves of the demo, and they left with lots of new ideas to play with.

I did have some trouble getting and staying hard during the cbt part; as I said, being the center of attention for a group that size unsettles me. Still, it went rather well overall. It was an experience I’m glad to have had.

People Fill Me with Grr

I saw a post today on a chastity/t&d discussion group. Of course, I responded. A woman was asking what penalty most dommes/keyholders give when the sub argues. And yet so many dominant women accuse men of having unrealistic expectations and fantasies. This is further proof that it happens on both sides of the d/s spectrum.

Say it with me, boys and girls:

Chastity is not a solution to relationship problems.

Very good!

Why do people continue to think that chastity or d/s will solve their relationship problems? When you have a fight, you need to work it out as a couple. Just because there’s d/s or chastity in the equation, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to compromise. A d/s relationship is still a relationship. You still have to deal with all the vanilla problems that everyone else has.

Let’s say that a hypothetical couple has a fight. She’s got him locked in chastity. Using this approach of penalizing the sub for not agreeing with everything the domme says, she punishes him in some way. The next time he disagrees, he’s reluctant to say so. He’s reluctant to communicate out of fear of punishment. Now he can no longer express his own needs and desires, which means he can no longer get those needs filled since she doesn’t know what they are. Why would he stay in this relationship when he could easily find someone who actually cares about his happiness?

Relationships, even if they involve chastity or d/s, are based on love, trust, respect, and communication. Eliminating any of these elements, or making any of them one-sided, will destroy the relationship.

Fireworks

I’ve been locked in a cock cage for the past 26 days. That’s the longest I’ve ever been denied. Last night she finally let me orgasm. It was the longest, most powerful orgasm I’ve had in a really long time. It was like an earthquake that just kept going.

While I was locked away, I ordered a chastity device cleaning kit. Not expensive at all, and it works incredibly well. I highly recommend it, especially for longer-term lockups.

She seems pretty psyched to try for more long-term t&d, along the order of months rather than weeks. I’m nervous about it. It gives me that feeling you get in your stomach when you see red and blue flashing lights in your rear-view mirror. It won’t be easy. But it is going to be big chunks of sexy.