Humiliation or Entertainment?

There was recent discussion over a femdom group having a series of games at a party.  The games involve the male subs doing things like genital tug-of-war, group masturbation, and other activities.  The opinions of those in the conversation were heavily polarized.

Personally, if I were at this party, I wouldn’t participate.  Debasing myself for the amusement of a bunch of random people isn’t my thing.  I need to feel a connection with those I play with.  I can understand the lighthearted, goofy nature of it, but it’s also something personal and intimate, not something I share with everybody.  I can see doing certain types of public humiliation, but this particular variety gives me nothing but negative feelings.

There’s a big difference between erotic humiliation and being “entertainment” for the evening.  Erotic humiliation can have a huge d/s edge to it; knowing that the one I submit to has the power to humiliate me and make my face red (at any time) is pretty powerful, and a reminder of our d/s positions.  On the other hand, jumping through a bunch of pointless hoops for the amusement of people I don’t even submit to strikes me as desperate and empty.

I realize that bdsm doesn’t have to be über-serious all the time and that there is plenty of room for goofiness and jokes.  But to throw myself out there and share this side of myself with everybody would cheapen it when I give the same in a relationship.

2 Responses to “Humiliation or Entertainment?”

  1. Quietlisten Says:

    I’ve heard some say that kink is “what we do.” I disagree. To me, kink is “how we connect,” an extended vocabulary of loving. I can connect with a person, not so much with a roomful of them. I’m sure that may work for some, just not for me.

  2. pureliquidkink Says:

    I agree. It’s not just about the sensation; if it was, I could play with anyone. And in this example, it’s not just about humiliation; again, if it was, I could do it with anyone. With me, there’s more to it than that.


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