Titles and Meaning

Some people place a lot of importance on titles in the bdsm community.  And why not?  Titles can carry a lot of power.  But too often, titles are abused, misused, or rendered weak through overuse.

There are people who use titles when introducing themselves to others, expecting other people to use that title when referring to them.  Let’s be clear on this, Your Highness Sir Master DragonLionWolf: Just because you bestow a title on yourself, that doesn’t obligate me to use it.

Titles are often a form of power exchange. When you use a title in referring to someone, you are acknowledging their role (or potential role) in relation to you.  I’m not going to call you Mistress unless we’re in a committed d/s relationship and you require that of me.  Once your collar is on me, then we’ll talk.  Until then, I’m referring to you by your name.  And I’m treating you as an equal.

When I use titles, I mean them.  Every time.  Titles carry a lot of significance with me, which is why I can’t just throw them around casually.  Using a title is an acknowledgment of a power exchange between us, and every time I use a title, I’m reaffirming that power exchange.  If I were to use titles with every dominant person I know, it would severely devalue those titles.  It would feel really watered down and weak.  The titles would lose their power.  When you give something to one person only, it carries much more meaning than when you give it to a group of people.

One Response to “Titles and Meaning”

  1. overwrought Says:


    I had a guy introduce himself to me once as SirMaster BigDaddy. How does one respond to that, except with laughter?

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