For about as long as I’ve been in the bdsm community, I’ve had an adverse reaction to the term “slave”. I realize that it’s used in a different sense than the nonconsensual human-trafficking type slavery, so that’s not the problem. A conversation with T a while back made me start to think a little deeper as to where that negative connotation comes from.
I eventually came to realize that my aversion to the word came not from the word itself, but from many of the self-identified slaves I’d interacted with locally and online. The majority were self-important, pompous fuckbuckets who looked down on “mere” subs. They often tried to knock subs for not being submissive enough; this was simply a ploy to make themselves look good at the expense of others. (I also see subs doing the same to bottoms on occasion.) The desire to look good in front of others is nearly universal, but that kind of behavior is unacceptable. So I distanced myself from these people, and over time I built a link between people who called themselves slaves and these abhorrent actions. Once I realized that my problem wasn’t with “slave” but rather with the individuals themselves (regardless of how they identify) that was a big step toward disentangling the two.
Assbags come in all orientations and d/s positions. It doesn’t matter how someone identifies; what matters is that person’s behavior and how they treat others.
The word “slave” is growing on me, as is the increased level of d/s that comes with it. It draws me in, pulls me toward it, yet at the same time, it creates a little loopy feeling in my stomach. I yearn to experience a deeper level of d/s, to fully feel owned. Not to be a puppet or yes-man, but to be immersed in a higher intensity of d/s dynamics.