Dominating Former Presidents

Want to start an argument?  Just say the phrase “financial domination”.  Done.

There are fewer contentious topics in bdsm.  However this is yet another area where I see a disconnect between the people I know in the local bdsm community and the people online.  In reality, very few people practice any form of financial domination.  Online, it’s rampant.

I’m not talking about being in a relationship and spending money on your partner.  That’s a totally different situation.

I was recently reminded of just how polarized people are on this issue because of a conversation online.  The fact is that most people in the flesh-and-blood bdsm community do not see this as a legitimate fetish/kink/interest.  Based on the numbers you see online, munches should be bursting with practitioners of financial domination.  Yet they’re not.  Just the opposite really.

The resistance against accepting this as a fetish partially stems from there being so many “findommes” who simply take advantage of subs.  Yes, the money is given willingly.  But the money was often given by someone who hasn’t had much luck in finding a relationship with a dominant woman, and they often think that they’re winning her over.  Many of these women string the men along, making them think there is potential for something more……someday.  One guy used the phrase “unlocking her heart”.  Once the money runs out, you’ll see just how unlocked her heart is.  You can’t buy your way into someone’s heart.  Especially if it’s someone you’ve never met who lives across the ocean.  Will she still be there for you when it’s just the two of you?  When no money changes hands?

Does any good ever come of financial domination?  Are there any success stories?  It’s common to hear about people draining their bank accounts, going through inheritances, or selling some of their possessions in order to send money or “gifts” to someone.  And do you think the woman they sent all this money to is going to stick around when it’s over?

Another aspect of my resistance to this comes from the uncertainty of retirement.  Most people currently working won’t be able to rely on Social Security and most likely won’t be able to retire at all – ever –  unless we have some form of savings and investments.  For any type of behavior, it’s generally considered a mental illness if that behavior interferes in a major way with your life.  Losing your retirement account definitely interferes with your life.  Because of this, I feel that most practitioners of financial dominance (at least among those I’ve talked with) aren’t doing this in a remotely healthy way.

3 Responses to “Dominating Former Presidents”

  1. J, onesubsmission Says:

    Hmm – it’s potentially a bit like having a fetish for someone smashing up your bones. Fine for fantasy, but in reality, if you do it, you might not recover. Or at best it’ll take you a long time to get there.

    The reality is that if you give someone you don’t know very well control over your money they might well rip you off, no matter how attractive or charming or adorable they seem. But perhaps this is a fetish that can be indulged more safely when the sub and dom are in a long term, committed relationship. I don’t know of any couples that do this, so it’s only an assumption, but perhaps there are happier ending stories in that type of situation.


  2. Stabbity Says:

    “Many of these women string the men along, making them think there is potential for something more……someday. One guy used the phrase “unlocking her heart”.”

    That’s just unspeakably sad. What sort of scum preys on the deluded and desperate like that? Rather than any sort of domination, I’d call that just another scam.

    I actually can see financial domination working long term in a relationship, I just don’t think people talk about it much because the sort of financial domination that seems workable isn’t very showy. I’m thinking of something along the lines of a woman who has a good idea of what her partner’s finances can support giving him the occasional order such as ‘the new book I want is out today, buy me a copy.’ That doesn’t really stand out much from plain old domination, though.

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