Genderfucking

Forced feminization can be a contentious topic.  Some find it highly insulting, others find it incredibly sexy, while still others are indifferent or somewhere in the middle.

People often take issue with the “forced” part of the phrase.  No, it’s not truly forced, I agree.  It’s more often something the domme pressures or orders the sub/slave to do.  There’s no gun to anyone’s head.  There may be threats involved (e.g. you’d better do this, or I’m locking you in chastity for two years) but it’s not truly forced.

By far the biggest issue people take with forced fem is that they assume all the practitioners of forced fem see femininity itself as humiliating, thus being insulting to women.  That’s a valid point, but only if the practitioners in question actually do see it that way.  I don’t view it this way personally.  I rather like femininity.  In fact, I find it beautiful.  I’m much more attracted to feminine women than butch women.  Femininity is a big plus in my book.  Femininity can be sexy, and it’s the flavor of sexy I go for.  While I try to be the masculine flavor of sexy, I fall for feminine sexy.

The draw of forced fem to me is multi-tiered.  Yes, I find it erotically humiliating, but not because of being made feminine.  It’s that I’m being made (even if temporarily) to look like something I’m not.  I’m a man being pushed into what is essentially a caricature of femininity.  On top of that, I don’t even come close to passing, so some of the humiliation comes from that as well.  Another thing that gives this type of play an edge is that it’s semi-taboo in society; men who dress as women are often laughed at.  Plus there’s a big d/s element there for me.  This is one of the more prevalent aspects of forced fem that I get into.  I can’t be pushed really hard with forced fem (or most other things) with just anyone; there’s got to be a strong d/s dynamic in place for this to work.  So I get the charge of being dominated, made to do something I don’t want to do, when we engage in this.  There’s a heavy control aspect with this, especially if it’s in public.  It seems doing this in public magnifies the humiliation as well as the d/s component.  So there you have a tangled knot of reasons I find this a worthwhile form of play.

Apprehension (Now with More Cream Filling!)

Ever since T informed me that she’s going to make me eat someone else’s cum in a few months, that thought has been hanging over my head.  Completely intentional on her part, I’m sure.  We’ve talked about quite a few different methods of this, so I’m not sure which it’ll be.  All of this has been making me think more on the whole idea of cum play.

This was originally a tricky area for us.  We’ve since gotten it figured out.  We have a semi-open relationship.  We’re not poly, so there are no other relationships involved.  But we do each have a short list of people we can be intimate with.  The problem is that it hurts to watch her do anything, even kissing, with someone else.  So we agreed not to do anything like that in front of each other.  Pretty simple.

Enter the creampie.  Strangely enough, it would be different watching her fuck someone else, even if it were happening right over top of me, if it ended in her making me clean up the creampie.  Same goes for watching her go down on someone else; normally I’d have a problem with seeing that, but if she and I were to snowball the cum afterward, I could watch the entire thing.  I think it comes down to intent.  Normally, if she’s fucking someone else, she’s doing it for her pleasure.  But with a creampie or snowballing, it’d be something that’s done more for us as a couple.  It’d be just one part of our scene.  Or a very strange sort of threesome.  We would be the central focus, which changes the dynamic entirely.  She wouldn’t be fucking him just to fuck him; rather, she’d be fucking him in order to get her sadistic jollies in making me clean her up afterward.  The intent completely alters the vibe.

The idea of eating someone else’s cum out of her (or snowballing it with her) sort of horrifies me.  At the same time, when I’m at the edge of orgasm, it sounds like a really hot idea.  So I’m torn.  What makes it even more difficult is that T has said she wants to make this type of play a regular part of our repertoire; that makes me nervous.  My brain and cock keep arguing with each other……..”yes!”  “no!”  “yes!”  “no!”  “yes!”  “no!”

 

A Delayed Sentence

For a couple months now, T has been occasionally mentioning that she’s got something planned for a scene with me in February.  We’ll be going to a weekend bdsm event in another city which we’ve been to before, though I knew about that.  She wouldn’t tell me what it was she had planned for while we’re there though.  All I knew is that she has something planned.

Yesterday, she told me what it was, at least partially.  She intends to make me eat someone else’s cum.

She’s been threatening to do this for a long time now in various forms.  We’ve talked about her making me lick it from her soles, pussy, ass, and shoe/boot, as well as using her cum-soaked panties or socks as a gag.  (She also mentioned wanting to completely fill a large cup with cum and make me drink it, but I’m pretty certain that was mostly a joke.)  I’m not sure which form of this she has planned, or whether it will be one man’s cum or multiple mens’, but I can’t say I’m itching to do this.  Rather dreading it actually.  Even thinking about it creates a lump in my throat.

Now I’ve got this hanging over my head for the next few months.  I’m not sure if I’m better off or worse for knowing this information.  She seems to enjoy stretching out the anticipation, taunting me occasionally.  I feel like a mouse being batted around and toyed with by a cat before being devoured.