Genderfucking

Forced feminization can be a contentious topic.  Some find it highly insulting, others find it incredibly sexy, while still others are indifferent or somewhere in the middle.

People often take issue with the “forced” part of the phrase.  No, it’s not truly forced, I agree.  It’s more often something the domme pressures or orders the sub/slave to do.  There’s no gun to anyone’s head.  There may be threats involved (e.g. you’d better do this, or I’m locking you in chastity for two years) but it’s not truly forced.

By far the biggest issue people take with forced fem is that they assume all the practitioners of forced fem see femininity itself as humiliating, thus being insulting to women.  That’s a valid point, but only if the practitioners in question actually do see it that way.  I don’t view it this way personally.  I rather like femininity.  In fact, I find it beautiful.  I’m much more attracted to feminine women than butch women.  Femininity is a big plus in my book.  Femininity can be sexy, and it’s the flavor of sexy I go for.  While I try to be the masculine flavor of sexy, I fall for feminine sexy.

The draw of forced fem to me is multi-tiered.  Yes, I find it erotically humiliating, but not because of being made feminine.  It’s that I’m being made (even if temporarily) to look like something I’m not.  I’m a man being pushed into what is essentially a caricature of femininity.  On top of that, I don’t even come close to passing, so some of the humiliation comes from that as well.  Another thing that gives this type of play an edge is that it’s semi-taboo in society; men who dress as women are often laughed at.  Plus there’s a big d/s element there for me.  This is one of the more prevalent aspects of forced fem that I get into.  I can’t be pushed really hard with forced fem (or most other things) with just anyone; there’s got to be a strong d/s dynamic in place for this to work.  So I get the charge of being dominated, made to do something I don’t want to do, when we engage in this.  There’s a heavy control aspect with this, especially if it’s in public.  It seems doing this in public magnifies the humiliation as well as the d/s component.  So there you have a tangled knot of reasons I find this a worthwhile form of play.

6 Responses to “Genderfucking”

  1. Quietlisten Says:

    Lots of great thoughts here, as usual. Another angle is that feminization is a kind of revocation (or at least control) of masculinity. It’s sexy to have freedom of movement or freedom of behavior taken by a Domme; and, too, it is sexy having freedom of gender (or gender presentation) within her power as well. The messed up ideas of society (both men and women) regarding masculinity and femininity just throws gasoline onto that fire. It’s confusing as hell, powerfully sexual, and jabs into dark corners of the mind where we are often afraid to go. That’s why it’s so delicious.

  2. pureliquidkink Says:

    @Quietlisten- Wow. Very solid point. That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!

  3. Lemons Says:

    Interesting points, thanks for sharing. Have you ever wondered though, if the draw of ‘forced feminization’ is simply about ‘a man being pushed into what is essentially a caricature of femininity’ or about making a statement about the power of a dominant partner, how come we never hear of women being into ‘forced masculinization’? What’s with the lack of equivalency there?

    I’ve thought previously that the reason for this discrepancy must simply be that femininity is a stigmatized identity in a way that masculinity isn’t, that ‘woman’ can be used as an insult etc. But on other hand there are elements of masculinity which are stigmatized too e.g. it is sometimes associated with stupidity, thoughtlessness, ineptitude etc. Perhaps the difference is that femininity is stigmatized in a way which also sexualizes it?

    What do you think as a practicioner? I find the whole kink quite hard to understand, I’m sometimes attracted to femininity in men, but not if it’s ‘forced’! I only find femininity attractive in men if they’re comfortable with it and able to perform it without the assistance of someone else to dress them up etc…

  4. pureliquidkink Says:

    @Lemons- Interesting point. And I’ve wondered about the lack of forced masculinization for a while as well. I do know that women are brought up with the “you can be anything you want” attitude, and many feel comfortable shopping for themselves in the menswear section. But a man shopping in the women’s section for himself will get some odd looks at best. Some people find it sexy for a woman to put on her boyfriend’s shirt. So I find women in general are more comfortable dressing in men’s clothes. But that’s all I’ve got in regard to that question. I don’t think it fully answers the question, and I have yet to find a solid answer to that.
    I’ve also seen the stigmatization of men you mentioned, and that isn’t something I’ve ever seen anyone turn into a bdsm experience. I can’t see using an untrue stereotype as something to get off on; this is another reason I don’t do the whole “feminization is humiliating because women are weak” thing- It’s simply not a true generalization to say women are weak or “less” in some way any more than it’s true to say men are all cavemen like we’re portrayed in the media.

    • Lemons Says:

      Hmm, so maybe the feminization thing is just a particular anxiety a lot of men have (that a dom can tap into) because it’s taboo for them in a way that masculinization doesn’t seem to be for most women…

      Possibly it has something to do with the idea that femininity is innate and natural whilst masculinity is learned/earned and fragile, so it can be more easily undermined.

  5. Stabbity Says:

    “By far the biggest issue people take with forced fem is that they assume all the practitioners of forced fem see femininity itself as humiliating, thus being insulting to women.”

    Yep, that’s pretty much my beef with forced fem. If more of the people into forced fem could articulate “it’s semi-taboo in society; men who dress as women are often laughed at.” I’d have much less of a problem with the kink in general. But so many of the people I’ve talked with about it seem to think that wearing panties is inherently humiliating for a man.

    “It’s that I’m being made (even if temporarily) to look like something I’m not. I’m a man being pushed into what is essentially a caricature of femininity.” That, on the other hand, makes sense. I’d feel pretty silly if someone dressed me up as a caricature of masculinity.


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