The Cream and the Crop

I’m finally solidifying my thoughts on T making me eat another man’s cum a couple weeks ago.  It took a while for the thoughts and feelings to ferment since it’s something so new to me and something I never thought I’d do.  My feelings on this have been whirling around, randomly scattered throughout my cerebrum, so it took some time to yank them down and line them up.

One thing I’ve realized is that I’m not quite as concerned with anonymity as I was before.  She had me stay in the bathroom with ear plugs so I wouldn’t know who the other man was.  After that scene, I’m not too worried about keeping the other men anonymous now.  I’m not real sure why that is though.  I’ll have to chew on that thought a bit more.  Maybe I was just worried I wouldn’t be able to clean up the cum if I saw where it came from; not being attracted to men, I thought that might be off-putting.

As we were cuddling after that scene was over, T mentioned a conversation she’d had with another domme previously.  In regard to eating other mens’ cum, this other woman said, “That’s how you know a slave is really serious about serving, if he’s willing to do that.”  That statement stuck with me.  It makes me realize that T values the fact that I’m willing to do this even though it pushes me hard.  Having your actions appreciated feels really good.

I’m trying to wrap my head around this being a regular part of our play now.  Part of me is still screaming “I DON’T WANNA I DON’T WANNA I DON’T WANNA!!!!” but another part of me knows that only makes her want to do it even more.  When I asked her what she enjoyed about this scene, the first thing she mentioned was “that you didn’t like it.”  Gulp.  One on hand, I like the fact that she gets off on pushing me so hard, and that she gets so much out of doing things to me that I don’t always like.  It’s powerful.  It adds a lot to the d/s between us.  But at the same time, when she pushes me hard, I want it to stop.  I just want to bury my head like an ostrich and hope that she doesn’t see me.

For a while I even considered pretending to be super-enthusiastic about being made to eat other mens’ cum, acting as if the yes/no dichotomy didn’t exist for this type of play.  But I know she wouldn’t fall for that.  Besides, I think I’d have a hard time pulling that off; I’m not a good liar.  I’m slowly coming to the realization that I may just eventually need to accept this as part of our dynamic.  But… I DON’T WANNA!!!!

There is still the unknown hanging over my head as well.  She’s floated various ideas for this type of play- creampies, snowballing after going down on someone else, making me lick cum from her armpit or off her shoe, gagging me with her socks or panties after someone cums on them, etc.  At one point she even mentioned wanting to have a gangbang and make me clean up all the other mens’ cum one by one as they shoot their loads.  That last one especially makes me want to back away slowly; it’s like the human equivalent of the pimp cup idea*shudder*  It’s an incredibly intimidating concept.  

She makes me worry.  Quite a lot sometimes.  But in the end, I love that she pushes me hard.  Even if I just want to run away as it’s happening.

Blargh.

This weekend was the weekend T has been threatening to make me eat another man’s cum.  We were at a weekend bdsm event, so there was a lot of pervocity going on everywhere.  I knew the cum scene was going to happen at some point, but I wasn’t sure when.  We ended up playing privately Friday night in our room.  Biting, ball-kicking, impact, scratching, foot worship…  She was pushing me really hard during this scene.

After we’d been at it for a while, she told me to go into the bathroom and kneel in the tub, which I did.  She came right in with a funnel, put it up to her pussy, and said, “Open wide!”  I choked down her piss as best I could.  T briefly left the room and came back with earplugs.  That’s when I got the “oh shit” feeling.  This was it.  She ordered me to put the earplugs in and stay in the bathtub until I saw the bathroom door open.  At that point, I was to remove the earplugs and come back out into the room.  She shut the door, and I was left with my own thoughts.

I didn’t know the method she had planned for doing this.  Was she going to make me lick the cum off her shoes/boots?  Would she suck off another guy and snowball his cum into my mouth?  Make me lick it off her feet?  Have him cum on her socks or panties and gag me with them?  Cum in a glass of her piss?  I just didn’t know.

Eventually I realized the door would probably open soon.  My heart was beating faster.

But the door didn’t open.  This was taking longer than I’d expected.  Was there more than one other man involved?  Could that be why it was taking so long? I couldn’t hear a thing between the closed door and the earplugs.

I saw the door open just a couple inches, and I felt footsteps vibrate the floor.  I felt like a condemned criminal as I took the earplugs out and reluctantly opened the door.  I walked out to see T sitting on the floor, in the middle of a plastic tarp.  My first thought was, “How many men were there if you needed a tarp?”  My stomach pitched back and forth as I walked toward her.  Once I got close, I saw that it wasn’t cum from multiple men.  She was sitting almost Indian-style, with her knees bent out to the sides and feet touching each other in front of her.  There was cum on her soles; happily, it was about half the amount I normally produce from one orgasm.

I knelt in front of her and took in her sadistic grin.  It was a harsh contradiction, knowing what she was about to make me do, yet seeing her face lit up beautifully.  “Clean it all up.”  I brought my face closer.  And stopped.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and I asked her to relent.  But she wasn’t feeling merciful.  She told me to get my tongue on her feet.  I took a few plaintive licks, and T laughed.  “I can’t believe she’s making me do this” I thought.  It was nasty, slimy, and disgusting, just like eating my own.  Only I didn’t even get to orgasm this time; I had to eat cum without the fun part.

After I’d finished cleaning all the cum from her feet, she moved her feet and said, “Looks like he missed my feet some.  Lick up those drops of cum there.”  So I licked the rest of the cum from the tarp.  That added a little extra kick of humiliation to the experience.  After it was over, T couldn’t get the grin off her face.  I stayed kneeling, feeling rather humble and extremely submissive towards her.

My libido shot through the roof after this.  It felt like all the horniness that he released with this orgasm then got added to my own horniness.  I wasn’t expecting that at all.  It was a strong, sudden effect, and it lasted.  In fact, it lasted all weekend.  When I got home, I had a powerful, quaking orgasm thinking of T and this scene.  It’s amazing that I can orgasm so hard from something that gives me such a strong “NO NO MAKE IT STOP!” feeling.

It’s still sinking in a little.  She made me eat another man’s cum.  That had always been a limit for me.  Not something I thought I’d ever do.

On the way home, she told me that she really enjoyed it, especially the fact that I didn’t want to do it.  And that only made her want to do it more.  I think “lots and lots more” was the way she phrased it.

I’m screwed.

 

 

 

 

My Mistress is a Supervillain

Last night, we were out with some friends.  About 30 of them, to be precise.  At one point, T was playing a game of pool with a friend, and I asked T if she’d like to play against me afterward.  She was up for it, so I stood around and watched her finish the game she was playing.  After a few minutes, I suggested putting a wager on our game to make it a little more interesting.  And that it did.

We each told the other what we wanted if we each won.  For my prize, I chose a few rounds of foot worship after she’d been wearing boots for 10+ hours since we don’t get to do that very often.  And she agreed to that.  She thought for a minute about what she wanted if she won.  Then she told me that she wanted a few separate scenes that involved me eating other mens’ cum.  My immediate thought was, “I’m not so sure I want to agree to that” but she didn’t even give me the chance.  She simply said, “Better hope you don’t lose!” before walking around the table to take her next shot.

When we started our game, I felt fairly confident, as I was sinking a lot of balls and gained a decent lead.  I felt like I had the game wrapped up.  But T soon had a burst of good shots and caught up.  After one shot, her eyes screamed at me, “You’re in trouble!”  As my lead slipped away, my heart started pounding.  I was trembling inside at the prospect of fulfilling her prize.  (This may or may not have caused me to miss a couple shots.)  We were down to 1-2 balls each.  She was trying to sink one of her last balls when she accidentally knocked the 8-ball in.  Whew.

I relaxed with the knowledge that I was safe.  Barely.  That was a close game.  So we finished out our night spending some more time with friends and headed home.

Once we got in the car, she told me, “Just because I lost the game doesn’t mean I’m not going to make you eat lots of cum from other men” and let out a wicked laugh.  A supervillain laugh.  After I thought I was safe, yanked that out from under me and turned on my internal “oh fuck” alarm.

On the plus side, we’ll be doing some über-sexy foot worship at some point.  But she still won.  She’s still going to make me eat other mens’ cum.  That dominance card is a powerful thing when she plays it.