I Don’t Understand Me

My head is a confusing place.  I’ve been trying to figure out a contradiction in my head for a while now involving two types of play.

Foot worship is one of my absolute favorite forms of play.  I could do it every day and not tire of it.  And it gets me ten times hotter when she’s been wearing boots for a long time or working all day.  The longer the better.  It triggers that “yes/no” reaction where it really turns me on yet I want it to stop.  Incredibly sexy.  So sweat, yes; dirt, no.  Foot worship after walking around barefoot has always been very off-putting to me, and it strikes me as completely unerotic.

At the same time, I’ve been having fantasies lately of being out somewhere and T spitting on the pavement or floor, stepping in it, and grinding her shoe/boot into the spit…… then making me kneel and lick all the spit off the sole of her shoe.  (This would probably be more successful in a parking lot or somewhere where there aren’t likely to be a lot of random passerby.)  This is just as nasty and dirty as the dirty-foot thing, so I can’t understand why I find this scenario so hot while at the same time being turned off by dirty foot worship.  How can one get me hot while I find the other sort of anti-sexy?

3 Responses to “I Don’t Understand Me”

  1. Ferns Says:

    I am always fascinated by this sort of specificity in fetishes, so I am interested to hear that you don’t quite understand it either.

    It’s one of the things that makes me steer clear of submissives who are also heavy fetishists *even if they aren’t creepily fetish focussed* if you know what I mean. The ones who are well rounded, smart, articulate and fabulous men and lovely submissives, but who have very specific fetishes are off putting to me, even if the fetish as a whole is something I can get on board with (foot and shoe attention, yes please! Specificity in HOW that attention is given and received… um, no thanks.). I struggle to see how I can have fun with that: it can’t be anything but prescriptive because anything just left of centre is a turn off (‘no, not like that, like this’). I have read enough of you to know that this is not ‘your thing’, but many are just like that.

    Of course, I have turned this into something about me (it’s all about me!).

    Interesting. If you work it out, it will be even more interesting.


  2. pureliquidkink Says:

    I totally understand where you’re coming from with people being overly prescriptive with things. I try not to be. With foot worship, I’m cool with sweaty or clean feet, but feet that have dirt and pet hair on the soles just turn my stomach. And not in a sexy way. That’s why I’m so puzzled about my desire to lick her spit from the sole of her shoe. It’s so similar to a dirty foot; I should be repulsed by both or turned on by both, but instead they’re polar opposites for me. That baffles me.

  3. msscarlet9015 Says:

    Often, my bitch-boy must lick my spat out food off the sole of boot which has been squashed into a patio surface. I have assumed this affects him much more than dirty feet (which it does) because it is so impersonally degrading. No physical contact and no physical pleasure for me – so its sole purpoe is his degradation.

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