When did bdsm turn into a crusade?
Over the past year, a lot more people have become all about one or two causes and nothing else. I see it both online and locally. Yes, activism can accomplish a lot. I commend those who do so for a worthy cause, as well as those quietly working behind the scenes to make things better in their daily lives. But when it’s all you talk about, when your contribution to every conversation at a bdsm event (or website) revolves around who’s a victim of what, you drive people away.
It seems there’s almost a competition going to see who can be more offended, more oppressed, more outraged. If you don’t work yourself into a frenzy at the mere mention of a certain word or situation, you’re seen as one of them, one of the hate-mongers, terrorists, apologists, and nefarious doo-doo heads. How did bdsm go from fun and sexy to accusatory and bitter?
Having a cause or twelve is terrific. And there’s nothing wrong with being public about your cause. But don’t push everyone away just because they’re not willing to invest as much energy in your pet cause as you are. Not everyone feels the same way. Not everyone had the same problems, the same upbringing, the same experiences. We have varied political and religious beliefs. We’ve led different lives. People put different priorities on things than you do. That doesn’t make them bad people. It just means you’re different in some way… You know, diversity and all that stuff we’re constantly preaching.
When I go to an event, I go to have fun, to learn, socialize, and/or get kinky. And that’s what I intend to keep doing. I’ll continue supporting (through various means) the causes I believe in without ramming them down everyone else’s throats. I do hope you’ll join me.