Growth in the Kinkosphere

Our fantasies and interests change over time.  At least for most of us.  For many, they become more varied and more intense.  This can happen over the course of years; it can also happen after the first time trying something new.

I’m no exception to this.  I’ve seen my palette expand to include things I never would’ve imagined.  I’ve done things I never thought I’d do.  Things that were hard limits before.  The example that sticks out most prominently in my memory is being made to eat another man’s cum.  Other areas we’ve delved into that I never would’ve seen myself doing include full forced feminization in public, blood play, long-term chastity… Actually, every form of play for me has grown more intense over time, and new forms of play have come into the picture as well.  We’ve each got a list of things we’re curious about, want to try, or have a slight fascination with, and I’m a firm believer in continuing to try new things, push harder, and add new things to your “curious” list.  There’s an exhilaration that comes with being pushed further than ever before, whatever the activity may be.  I’ve often said that I have a fetish for being pushed hard.  Your interest in something may grow over time.  You may want to push (or be pushed) further.  Fantasies can go from “kind of hot in my head but probably wouldn’t try it” to something you reeeeeeeally want to experience in real life.  Someone on another blog even recommended that dommes “assume his fantasies are evolving and take them to the next step yourself” and that she can always back off if it’s too much.  This approach makes sense considering that the domme is the one in the driver’s seat.  It can also help the sub avoid feeling like he’s topping from the bottom.    I know I sometimes struggle with this feeling when initiating play or asking for a new form of play.

Before taking this approach though, it’s vital to know each other well.  Sit down and talk about your fantasies and where you want your play to go.  If you feel awkward doing that, try typing out (or telling) a story.  Write up a list of things that really push your hot buttons.  And don’t just sit on that list; discuss it with your partner.  And be sure to keep checking things off of it.  You won’t regret it.

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