Some submissive women frequently talk about how they want to be taken, forced, dominated, brutalized, or any number of similar terms. It’s a pretty common desire. These women find it hot to be overpowered, to struggle against the dom. They want to be conquered. One woman wrote, “I don’t want to kneel at your feet; I want to be dragged by the hair and forced to the floor.”
So why is it that when a submissive man desires these same things, he’s seen as un-submissive? If a man wants to be forced, it’s written off as “male fantasy” (as if we’re somehow less entitled to having fantasies than women are) or seen as wank fodder. Either that or he’s viewed as a less-mature sub who needs more experience. If a woman wants this? Great, that’s hot. If a man wants it? He’s a wanker.
I can understand it being a problem if it’s like this all the time; if there’s no submission, if everything has to be forced, that would be incredibly annoying and most likely end the relationship. What I’m talking about here though is that desire to be forced sometimes, not a constant state of being.
While it’s not the same thing, I’ve known enough bratty subs over the years to realize that brats also get different treatment based on their gender as well. A female sub who’s being bratty will elicit responses of, “Oh, she’s doing that again” and a chuckle. Then people gather around to watch the ensuing scene. A male sub engaged in the same behavior gets looks of disgust and disparaging comments about his lack of submission.
Why the discrepancy? Why is it perfectly acceptable for a submissive woman to want to be dominated but not for a man to want the same?