Drama is a dirty word in many BDSM communities as well as online. It seems people are split over the issue though. One group of people loudly proclaims an aversion to drama; the other says that drama is a natural part of life- breakups, illness, job loss, etc. This divide really comes down to differing ideas of what constitutes drama.
Yes, all the aforementioned problems are part of life. There is no avoiding them. But is that really drama? They’re the subjects that make up many dramas on TV. When I mention drama however, I’m talking about blowing things out of proportion or attention-seeking behavior. I’m talking about dragging private matters out in public in order to garner sympathy or attention, or raising one’s voice and copping an attitude over something very minor. This has nothing to do with the inevitable ups and downs of life. Drama of this variety is completely voluntary. And it’s this voluntary attention-seeking drama that most people are talking about when they say they’re allergic to drama.
Dragging up an old issue that was long since resolved? Drama.
Typical breakup? Not drama.
Typical breakup after which you very publicly drag your ex through the mud online and to anyone who will listen? Drama.
Rape? Not drama.
Publicly posting a message to a particular person on fet after they blocked you? Drama.
Claustrophobia which leads you to be unable to do bondage or cages? Not drama.
Telling people that someone is a predator after they accidentally wrapped a few times while whipping you? Drama.
Someone ignoring a safeword and continuing the scene? Not drama.
Whining because someone touched your shoulder without explicit written permission? Drama.
Clear enough? It’s the self-martyring and attempts at stirring the pot that fall under the “drama” label as most people use it. It’s completely unnecessary and usually rather unpleasant. There is no need for that kind of ugliness in this or any community. This is the kind of thing people mean when they say they “don’t do drama”.