So you’re poly. Congratulations.
And you over there- You’re in an open relationship. Good for you.
The person back there is monogamous. Yippee freakin’ skippee.
Way over there is someone single but with a lot of play partners. Yay.
Does that mean you need to knock everyone who doesn’t share your preference? All too often, I see people posting about how poly is “the natural way” and that monogamy is some artificial construct. Others point to various animals to “prove” that monogamy is the right way. Some claim that one arrangement or the other is more “evolved”. There are also the ubiquitous assertions about certain emotions being unnatural or primal, emotions that should be pushed away or swallowed.
Why do people feel the need to stick all sorts of bogus claims behind their personal choices? Do they really need this shaky “evidence” to bolster their own decisions? Why not just say, “This is what I prefer” and stand behind your desires rather than grasping for flimsy reasons to back them up? Does it come from a lack of confidence in their beliefs? Or a desire to be looked up to and admired as being more evolved? Maybe a sense of wanting to belong to an in-group, with the need to knock others who aren’t members of the in-group? I really don’t see what’s so hard about not talking down to others. If someone is in a relationship arrangement that you’d never go for, so what? That doesn’t give you the right to act smug and look down your nose at the infidels. Personal preferences are just that- They’re not some universal standard.
The tactic of insulting monogamous people is not the best way to get people to look at poly in a favorable light. And saying that poly people are sick, indecisive, and have purple tentacles is not the way to win any friends for the monogamous side. If people genuinely want to gain social acceptance of various relationship dynamics, talking condescendingly about people who do it differently is definitely not the way to go about it.