I never thought I’d say this, but I went over a year (and counting) without an orgasm. While chastity has been a form of play I’ve been into for years, constantly pushing further with it, I didn’t think it’d ever get to this point. My first experiences with chastity were only a couple days at a time. Days turned into weeks, then months, and now over a year. Some things I’ve learned over this past year:
- I eventually plateau. The horniness does build the longer I’m denied, but once it reaches a certain point, it doesn’t go any higher. That level can also drift back downward, even after being denied for a really long time.
- There are occasions when it’s much easier than expected. Some days I don’t even think about the fact that I can’t orgasm. This is a good thing; otherwise, I’d find it hard to concentrate at work or other important times. If it got to the point where it was interfering with my life, that’d be a huge issue.
- How worked up I am is usually directly proportional to the amount of teasing and/or play I’m experiencing. The teasing doesn’t have to be direct sexual contact; it can be a form of play I enjoy, more of a vanilla sexual flirting, scent, or even verbal taunting. That level of hornification then stays with me for at least a day or two. The more intense the teasing, and the longer it lasts, the longer I stay worked up afterward. Without that, I can go back down to almost normal levels of horny.
- I have more willpower than I thought. Then again, maybe it’s just experience. I’m a sober alcoholic. After a decade of sobriety, I’m rather well-practiced in restraint. And not drinking is a hell of a lot more difficult than not orgasming.
- Motivation is part of the willpower. I know if I orgasmed without permission, not only would T be disappointed in me, but I’d be disappointed in myself and beat myself up over it for a long time. Plus, she’s made it clear that there would be very unpleasant consequences if I did orgasm.
- Knowing my release date or a minimum limit (“You won’t orgasm until at least this date…”) puts my mind into cruise control. I don’t get as worked up in that case. I know I won’t be orgasming any time until then, so it’s pointless to even hope for it. Instead, I just buckle in for the long haul. My testicles put on little sunglasses and ease back into a recliner.
- I don’t experience blue balls. Some report it as pain in the balls after being teased and denied. That just doesn’t happen with me. It’s ok though- There’s still ball-kicking for that.
- Casual play partners taunting me about not being able to orgasm adds another level of sexitude to the experience. It’s like a group of people ganging up on me, even though they’re not the ones controlling my orgasms.
- I don’t really look at much porn when I’m in chastity since I know it will only get me even more worked up. Didn’t take me long to learn that lesson.
- Likewise with masturbating. When I’m not in a cock cage, I’m free to masturbate as long as I don’t cum. But I know that would only drive me even further up the wall, so I don’t do it. Unless, of course, T makes me edge.
This past year has been a strange ride. It’s still odd for me to think that I didn’t orgasm in all of 2014. An entire year. It’s hot and horrific at the same time. Like many other things I’ve experienced in BDSM, this isn’t something I ever envisioned myself doing. I’m very curious to see what other surprises are around the corner.