Humiliation Rumination

24 hours ago, I was in another state, having a fun scene with a couple women whose company I found I rather enjoyed.  This was a 2-on-1 scene; I love the energy of those type of scenes.  Prior to this, we did the usual negotiation that you do for casual play.  One of them asked me how I felt about humiliation.  The short answer I gave is that humiliation is hit-or-miss for me and that I may possibly be up for something if it’s a strong interest of theirs.  I generally don’t do much of this type of play with people I haven’t played with before.  Humiliation is so individual that I generally don’t pursue it unless we’ve got a scene or two under our belt together.  Or at least have a really long conversation first.

That simple question made me think on the drive home today.  I still don’t know why certain types of humiliation work or don’t work for me.  I’m not well-read in psychology.  But the first step in finding out the “why” is sorting out what works and what doesn’t.

I already know that the logical side of my brain gets in the way of some things.  For example, small cock humiliation.  I’ve been in enough locker rooms (and around the BDSM community long enough) to know that I’m average size and proportional to my body.  And my brain also blocks all the stereotypical “not a real man” or “worthless” stuff.  That kind of approach makes me think, “If you don’t feel I’m worth your time, there’s the door.  Bye now.”

Other forms of humiliation that I know definitely don’t work for me are what I call “stupid human tricks”.  These are things that are done for the top’s amusement but carry no erotic value, e.g. ridiculous costumes, singing silly songs, or acting the fool at the top’s direction to elicit laughter.  Don’t get me wrong, being laughed at can be über-hot; but sadistic laughter is totally different than “you’re pathetic and I can’t believe you’re doing this” laughter.  Sadistic laughter can get me in to that delectable melty headspace, but the latter completely pulls me out of the scene.

What does work?  Many of the things that work for me are physical in nature and carry some level of social connotation.

Face-spitting is one that hits that button really well.  Forcefully launching a mouthful of saliva right at someone’s face is widely considered insulting, and it also carries that “I just spit in your face- What are you going to do about it?” vibe.  Derogatory, degrading, and very powerful.  Precisely why it appeals to me so much.

Being made to clean the dirt from the soles of the top’s shoes or boots also lands pretty squarely near the humiliation bullseye for me.  It’s just flat-out dirty and disgusting.  It’s literally the lowest point on that person’s being.  I’ve only experienced this a couple times, but based on those experiences, the humiliation factor is fairly strong.

Armpit licking is another I have pretty limited experience with.  Obviously this is best done with no deodorant, as 15-syllable chemicals aren’t the best thing to be ingesting.  Armpits carry that dirty, nasty connotation that I so adore.  Being made to do this involves feeling a certain indignity and powerlessness.  Yow.

Forced feminization (I know, not truly “forced”) is something I’ve touched on before and won’t go into detail in here.  In short, I don’t see femininity as humiliating.  I find this type of play humiliating because it’s playing with all the bullshit crammed down our throats from a young age.  We’re “supposed to” act this way or that because of the way we were born, and anything other than that is cause for social repercussions.  Using this social stigma as a source of humiliation in BDSM is a way of taking life’s BS and making something erotic out of it.  I liken it to women who get off on being called “slut” or “whore”; they’re taught not to be those things by society, and so they take that pressure and turn it into the sexy during a scene.

I imagine the top washing my mouth out with a bar of soap would also carry a strong humiliation groove.  This is pure speculation, but I think since the act carries a certain amount of authoritarian vibe as well as the pure nastiness of it, it would likely have a humiliating effect.

There aren’t any forms of verbal humiliation listed here.  That’s because I haven’t yet found any solid forms of verbal humiliation that consistently have that same kind of effect on me.  To be fair, I haven’t experienced a ton of verbal humiliation, but most of the times I have, it was met on my part with indifference, disbelief, or genuine anger.  We’ve just started to explore cuckolding (as individual scenes, not as a relationship dynamic) and this might possibly provide an effective angle for some verbal.  I’m not real sure what it’d take to hit that verbal humiliation bullseye.  In the meantime, I’m going to keep wandering around this kinky landscape and explore as much as I can.

I’m a Doormat! Wait, Maybe I’m a Rug…

This past weekend, T and I were at an event we really enjoy in a neighboring city.  I’ve been going to this event for roughly six years, and it’s definitely one of my favorites.  Each year, our caravan from Pittsburgh to this event seems to grow larger.

When we got there, T said she thought the room looked familiar.  She was right: We’d stayed in this same room before.  I realized that when I saw this-

cope wall

There were about a dozen of these little paw prints in the wall, and I remember talking with her about them when we last stayed in that room.  I really wanted to call the front desk and tell them we had an infestation of gravity-defying raccoons.

I ended up playing three times over the weekend.  Once with T, once with a friend from Pittsburgh, and once with someone I’d never met prior.  The latter posted before the event that she was looking to do some trampling.  I messaged her and we tentatively set it up.  My experience with trampling had been minimal, with just a little here and there thrown in as part of other scenes.  But this would be my first full-on trampling scene.  It wasn’t a huge, burning curiosity of mine, but more of a back-burner type curiosity.

After meeting face-to-face and negotiating the scene, we agreed to play on the second night of the event.

We met up on the second night and headed into the dungeon.  Her requirements for a play area were outrageous- She wanted a flat surface and something to hang on to.  Such extravagant rarities.  I stripped, and she had me lay on my back next to a sturdy bondage table.  After slipping off her shoes, she put one foot on top of my abdomen and slowly started adding weight.  Then came the other foot.  Her weight on top of me was restricting when it came to breathing, but it definitely wasn’t too much.  Monitoring me the whole time, she slowly kneaded my flesh with her feet and stepped across all parts of my body. The point of view was terrific.  She towered over top of me, looking about fifteen feet tall.  Being a foot fetishist also added some appeal for me.  She’s occasionally flash a big smile, and that helped my headspace a lot as well.  It gets me further into the scene when I know the top is really getting into whatever we’re doing.

After what was probably about five minutes, she put one foot on my throat and started to press down.  Right when my body hit that “ok, that’s enough” point, she went just a little further and held it there for a few seconds.  She was able to read my reactions very accurately considering we’d never played before.  Breath play and choking are very hot to me, and this was just one more way of doing that.  (T had choked me like that a couple times before as well; it’s always a sexiful time.)  Her weight remained constant on my body throughout.  Mentally, it had a bondage-ish feeling to it.  I couldn’t just sit up to lift her off of me.

Then she stepped off of me.  After putting on a pair of heels, she eased back on to my chest.  That was much more intense.  Her weight was concentrated over a smaller surface area with the shoes on.  The heels dug into my flesh as she continued to step all over me.  She left me with some great souvenirs:

trampling1 trampling2

Afterward, she checked in on me and we stayed there talking for a few minutes.  At that point I realized I had gotten a bit floaty, which I wasn’t expecting.  It’s a happy surprise.  She asked me which I preferred- barefoot or with heels.  I answered barefoot.  It just seemed more connected somehow, and the warmth of her feet added to that feeling.  She mentioned that she also felt more tactile feedback from me barefoot.

I enjoy moving things from my “curious about” list to my “into” list.  This was no exception.  I’d like to experience this again.  It’s not moving to the top of my interests anytime soon, but it’s one more thing for the arsenal.  Having a large variety of types of play to draw from keeps things fresh.  It also helps to prevent “dungeon monotony”- walking through a playspace and seeing people doing mostly the same type of play everywhere you look.  Trampling is one more arrow in the quiver of pervitude.

My Inaugural Post as a Norse Deity

The other night was a night of expanding boundaries.  And then stomping on those boundaries.  And setting them on fire.  We ended up popping a few play cherries as well in addition to doing some play that was formerly a hard limit for me.  T implied that she had something special planned for that night, but I had no idea what.  I am coming up on a birthday, which is also the same day she collared me two years ago.  It’s a birthdayversary.  So there are celebration-worthy occasions about.

I picked T up from work and we went to my place.  She told me to strip and kiss her feet.  She then made me clean the soles of her sandals with my tongue.  This has a pretty intense cognitive dissonance with me.  All I could think as I was doing it was of her earlier comment that day about how dirty the floor at work is.  My brain wanted it to stop, but certain other parts of me disagreed vehemently.

Afterward she had me crawl into my cage in the living room.  Before closing it, she put earplugs in my ears and a hood over my head.  She had only done this once before, so I started to guess at what was coming: some sort of group scene.

She kept me in the cage for what felt like about an hour.  Eventually letting me out, she led me upstairs, still hooded.  Upon removing the hood, there stood two of our friends, a male-female couple.  I’ve played with the female half of this couple a few times before, and it was always gobs of fun.  She and T wasted no time in getting me into position.  They had me kneel at the foot of my bed (facing the bed), stretched my arms wide, cuffed them to the footboard, and popped a set of nipple clamps on me.  One thing was present that I wasn’t used to seeing during a scene: cake.  They brought a small cake with them, and it was sitting on my dresser.  After some initial biting, scratching, and ass-smacking, they began saying how nice it was that my male friend was going to help decorate my cake.  His partner mentioned that it was even nicer of T to help him with this decoration.  As she said this, T got up on the bed, on all fours, face-to-face with me.  He then proceeded to fuck T from behind while his partner probed my ass and bit me.  In this position, I was unable to turn away, my face a foot or two away from T’s as she moaned and writhed.  She’d occasionally look me in the eye or smile at me, letting me know how much she was enjoying rubbing this in my face.  Her face was saying, “I’m loving this and you can’t do a thing about it!”  Her cheeks became flush after a while, and this time I wasn’t the one causing it.  I’d yank on the cuffs, but they didn’t give at all.  At one point T realized this whole situation had made my dick stand at attention; she just looked at my hard cock and laughed in my face while enjoying someone else’s hard cock.  That absolutely drove me up a wall!

I also had the realization that this was actually happening.  Something that had always been a hard limit for me was now going on.  For real.  Not in my head.  Not on some fet group or in a story, but in my bedroom.  Flesh and blood.  This was reality.

After a while he stopped fucking T and asked for the cake.  To both women’s cheers, he came all over it, and they set it aside.  Afterward, his partner had me suck her dildo, which resulted in an orgasm for her and was ten pounds of sexy.  The three of us played some more while my male friend watched.  Eventually he had enough for round two, and masturbated onto the cake again.

Still kneeling and cuffed in place, T brought the plate of cake over and cut off a bite-size piece.  She dragged it through the cum on the plate and brought it up to my mouth.  “Please, no…” I said, which was met with , “Open wide!”

BDV (4)

She kept feeding me forkful after forkful, making me shudder.  I couldn’t taste the cum at all, but I could tell it was there from the texture.  Not as bad as eating cum straight, but still difficult.  Then T said, “Now I’m going to make it even better” and walked away.  She came back shortly after with a cup of her piss. . . which she promptly poured all over the cake.  They uncuffed me and led me downstairs to the kitchen.  The plate was placed on the floor, and T made me start eating.  It was mushy and warm.  I can’t say I’d ever had mushy and warm cake until that point.  The three of them cut a slice for themselves from a separate cake, one devoid of piss, cum, and other such lavish garnishments.  They stood there eating theirs, remarking on how good it was, while I gagged and swallowed piss cake.  (As I write this, I’m eating a leftover piece of the cake not covered in bodily fluids; they were right, it is really tasty!)

This wasn’t the end though.  T wiped my face off with a paper towel and led me back upstairs.  She showed me a picture online and the trail of comments that followed.  It was a picture she’d posted after our anniversary scene in December.  She’d carved “happy anniversary hardcore legend” into my back that night.  (For an explanation of that nickname, click here.)  The guy who dubbed me with that nickname commented on the photo right after it had been posted, saying he should’ve given me a longer nickname.  I jokingly suggested “Sir Thor LionHammerThunder, Great Defender of the North.”  This exchange occurred soon after the picture was posted in December, and I’d forgotten all about it.

That smartassery came back to bite me.

BDV (32)

This cutting took a while.  Last time she carved words into my back, I had a really hard time not squirming all over the place.  This time, it was a little different.  T started humming softly at one point, which is an ASMR trigger for me.  She was going for a creepy vibe by quietly humming a song while cutting me, which she definitely accomplished.  But at the same time, it relaxed my head just enough to avoid crawling off the bed.  I still felt every cut though.  Also, our female friend kept rubbing my legs (and at one point I think sat on them?) which helped as well.  I was able to tolerate the cutting without any real sudden jerks this time.

Soon after, our friends left.  Laying on the bed with T, I found myself spontaneously begging her to let me cum.  Begging is still difficult for me, so the fact that I did it without her telling me to speaks to how worked up I was.  I was stunned when she said yes, but I wasn’t going to question that.  After six months without being allowed to orgasm at all, it felt amazing.  Fireworks.  It felt like my brain was short-circuited for a minute or so after.  She did have me eat all my cum afterward, but I was still so floaty and happy that I got to cum that it wasn’t as bad as usual.  Strangely, after long periods of chastity, when I finally get to orgasm again, I sometimes get into a giggle fit right after.  I had a small one after this orgasm too.  Definitely a solid way to end the night!

Sexy, Sexy Scent

Something has been puzzling me for a long time.

Why do they make those little packets of square, bright orange crackers?  Fluorescent orange is not a natural color for a cracker to be.

But also, something more BDSM-related has been puzzling me too.

I have a thing for scent.  For example, foot worship is always sexy, but doing it after she’s been in boots or shoes all day is ten times hotter.  For me it seems to trigger something on a more primal level.  My libido kicks into overdrive.  (Which is also hellaciously frustrating when I’m in chastity.)  Foot worship, the various smells of sex, the scent of leather, armpit licking… They all drive me up a wall.  Maybe it’s a pheromone thing.  Or maybe, at least for the foot and armpit licking, there’s a certain humiliation edge there.

A friend who is involved both in the local BDSM community as well as the gay Leather community recently verified something I’d been hearing for years: Scent is also big among the gay Leather crowd.  It’s actually pretty heavily fetishized there.  They embrace various levels of musk.  They revel in sweat.  (Obviously this isn’t true for every single leatherman out there, but as a whole it’s more true than not.)  They don’t try to cover it up.  A Leather convention can be a rather intense olfactory experience.

So why isn’t that the case in the rest of the BDSM community?  Why is scent such an abhorrent thing here?  Is it simply social conditioning?  We’re bombarded with the idea that all the various body odors are repulsive and should be washed away, covered up.  Is it really that simple?  Or are there other layers of possibility?

Going to a munch, it’s understandable that most people will attempt to be odor-free or pleasant-smelling.  However in a more sexual/play-oriented atmosphere, like a play party, I’m surprised that scent doesn’t come into play for most people.  We use all the other senses in some way, so why not smell?  Sight is on overload at parties with all the sexy leather, latex, heels, lingerie, and nekkidity. There are a ton of ways to stimulate touch, from sensual to painful.  For taste, there’s boot worship with the taste of leather, washing a sub’s mouth out with a bar of soap, or piss play.  On the auditory end of things, there’s the sound the cane makes as it cuts the air, the sound of heels clicking on the floor, or the moans and laughter of people playing.  But what about scent?  Apart from the occasional whiff of leather, there’s not much to stimulate that sense in this environment.

Scent is subjective.  In the context of a party, people can mostly agree on what constitutes sexy when it comes to the other senses.  But scent is far more disparate.  A scent that gets one person worked up might make another walk quickly out of the room.  This is one reason I think most scent-based forms of play don’t happen during public play.  Those who do practice it often seem to do it privately.  But since it’s not talked about, how common is it?

I Don’t Understand Me

My head is a confusing place.  I’ve been trying to figure out a contradiction in my head for a while now involving two types of play.

Foot worship is one of my absolute favorite forms of play.  I could do it every day and not tire of it.  And it gets me ten times hotter when she’s been wearing boots for a long time or working all day.  The longer the better.  It triggers that “yes/no” reaction where it really turns me on yet I want it to stop.  Incredibly sexy.  So sweat, yes; dirt, no.  Foot worship after walking around barefoot has always been very off-putting to me, and it strikes me as completely unerotic.

At the same time, I’ve been having fantasies lately of being out somewhere and T spitting on the pavement or floor, stepping in it, and grinding her shoe/boot into the spit…… then making me kneel and lick all the spit off the sole of her shoe.  (This would probably be more successful in a parking lot or somewhere where there aren’t likely to be a lot of random passerby.)  This is just as nasty and dirty as the dirty-foot thing, so I can’t understand why I find this scenario so hot while at the same time being turned off by dirty foot worship.  How can one get me hot while I find the other sort of anti-sexy?

99 Ways to Perv

T and I have something we call perv lists.  They’re lists of things that either she or I have mentioned wanting to experience.  Some of these are things that I saw at parties and have stayed stuck in my brain since, while others seemingly randomly popped into my head.   She won’t tell me what’s on her list though, since she wants to keep the element of surprise.  These are almost like a bucket list of kink.  The purpose of this list is different though.  Unlike a bucket list, if we really get off on something that we try from this list, we can do it again and again.  And again.  And again, just for good measure.  We can add it to our regular repertoire rather than just checking it off of a list.

My list isn’t in any real order.  Some of these things have come up in conversation repeatedly, while others were simply mentioned once a long time ago and never again.

  • Ass-beating with her belt – We tried this last night.  Depending how she wielded it, it delivered everything from nice warmup-type pain to searing flashes of sting.  And she’d sometimes hit the belt on itself to make a loud slapping noise.  That made me tense up when she did that.  Very sexy.  Watching her take off her belt always appealed to me because I could imagine her beating me with it.  Now, I’m sure that feeling will be even stronger.
  • Needles through the nipples – I’m not curious about needle play in any other body parts.  It just doesn’t seem like it’d be an erotic form of pain anywhere except the nipples.
  • Lick her piss or her spit from off of her bare feet –  nasty, and oh-so-hot.  This would also work well with the soles of her shoes/boots/sandals.
  • Armpit-licking – I was curious about this for a little while, and eventually we tried it.  I was surprised at how hot it got me.  (To be clear, I’m talking about doing this without deodorant since there are a lot of nasty chemicals in it.  Deodorant isn’t meant to be eaten.  Bleh.)  And it also wasn’t done straight out of the shower either; she’d been going around for at least a few hours, sometimes more, with no deodorant before making me lick her armpits.  It appealed to me on many of the same levels foot worship does- armpits have that dirty, “low” connotation, and dominating the mouth is just plain sexy.  Foot worship is still one of my absolute favorite forms of play though; it hasn’t been unseated.  But licking her armpits definitely drove me up a wall!  The taste, the scent, the “wrongness”… This got me incredibly turned on.
  • A spit bukkake scene- Multiple women taking turns spitting in my face over and over again.  Face-spitting is powerful to me; it’s humiliating and traditionally degrading/insulting.  The social connotations that come along with face-spitting are probably what makes this so sexy to me.  Having multiple women involved only increases the humiliation factor since they are not only taking part, but also a built-in audience.  A group of women taking their time, taking turns, and laughing at me as the slowly cover my face in their spit is an incredibly powerful fantasy for me.
  • Cum play in various incarnations.  She strongly prefers using other men’s cum rather than my own in these scenarios, and obviously they’d need to be screened for STIs:
  1. Creampie cleanup- Licking another man’s cum from her pussy, especially after watching them fuck, would most likely be a humiliating experience.
  2. Drink cum mixed in a glass of her piss
  3. Lick cum from her soles We’ve tried this once now- read about it here and here.  It was easily one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever had.  (She’s also floated the idea of using multiple men’s cum all at once for this.)
  4. Lick cum from her armpit
  5. Snowballing others’ cum- After going down on someone else (either in front of me or not) and having a mouthful of cum, kissing me.
  6. Someone (or someones) cumming on her sock, followed by her gagging me with it
  7. Someone cumming on her panties, followed by her gagging me with them
  8. Felching- She’s half-threatened to make me suck someone else’s cum from her asshole.  This is just nasty and wrong, so of course the thought of it gets me really hot.
  9. Pimp cup (an ornate cup she wants to have completely filled with other mens’ cum before making me drink it all.  That’s an insanely large amount of cum.)  I thought she was joking about this, but she insists she isn’t.
  10. Kneel and lick cum from off of her shoe/boot in a more public environment (club, party, etc.)  This might be harder though, since the top of the foot is rounder, so the cum might slide right off.  Cum might stick better to nylons, but that’s just a guess.  Because of that, I’m really not sure if this is feasible.  I do know that the public humiliation aspect would be both horrible and sexy.
  11. Lick cum from off the sole of her shoe/boot/sandal, especially a pair that she wears often.  This would be difficult as well, but the thought of it gets me hard.
  12. Cum drive- This started as a joke about having an orgasm drive (like a telethon) since I’ve been denied so many orgasms.  Then she twisted it into collecting other mens’  orgasms rather than my own.  She taunted me with the idea of letting multiple men cum all over her- ass, tits, armpits, soles, in her mouth, etc.- and making me clean it all up.  All without letting me orgasm.
  13.  Clean her up during a gangbang.  This is the most intimidating one on this list.  I’d have to watch other men get off inside her, then come over and clean their cum out of her pussy, ass, and mouth one at a time.  Over and over again.  The thought of this makes me nervous.

With all the different forms of cum play we’ve talked about, every single one of them gives me butterflies.  That said, I think I could wrap my head around doing this just once and getting it over with.  But she’s repeatedly said she wants to make this a regular, frequent part of our play, which makes me tremble to think of it.  She said she wants to make me her cumdumpster; really, what can you say to that?  Doing this type of play on a regular basis (especially when she won’t let me orgasm myself) seems incredibly intense, and it’d push me hard; at the same time, the thought of it gets me hot.  The thought of doing this as often as she wants to makes me want to curl up in a little ball.  Or take a play from the ostriches and bury my head in the sand.  Maybe she won’t see me.

  • Have a scene outside
  • Pimp cup (see #8 above) filled with spit and making me drink it
  • Foot-smelling scene.  This is pretty basic, but I think I would kink pretty hard on this.  We discussed having me bound in a straitjacket or with hands cuffed behind me, and then gagged.  Most likely with a posture collar to keep me from turning my head.  Laying on my back on the floor, she could be up on a piece of furniture and simply rest her feet on my face.  I’d be unable to get away and unable to breathe through my mouth.  It’s a simple idea, and one that uses one of the most basic, primal senses.
  • Banana Spit- This stemmed from me misreading a sign at an ice cream shop.  It brought to mind an image of a group of women passing around a small bowl or cup of ice cream (though this would work with any food or snack really) and spitting in it, over and over, for quite some time.  Covering it with inches of spit.  Being made to eat food that’s absolutely drenched in spit would be incredibly nasty.   Which is probably why it appeals to me.
  • Piss in cornflakes – That way, if I’m in a bad mood and someone says, “Hey, who pissed in your cornflakes?” I could just point to her.
  • Co-topping– She’s mentioned quite a few times that she really enjoys co-topping, and that she wants to top me with another woman at the same time.  We’ve now done this- We had a super-hot anniversary scene as well as an a mind-melting birthdayversary scene.
  • Public humiliation- When I say “public” in this sense, I’m talking about more of an adult vanilla-public environment rather than a play party or other bdsm event-
  1.    Foot kissing
  2.    Ass kissing
  3.    Face spitting
  4. Shoe shopping– We talked about going shoe shopping (for her) together, with me kneeling to put on and take off her shoes.  We tried this pretty early on, and it hit me both in a sexy way and a d/s way.  This is a very happy memory.
  5.   Forced feminization– We’ve done public forced feminization once before, and it was incredibly intense.  It also had much more of a d/s vibe than I was expecting.  Since then, she’s threatened to take me out fully crossdressed on one of the busier streets in a more adult-oriented part of town on a Friday night or Saturday night when it’s crowded.  I’m not sure how much of that I could handle.  That would be really difficult.
  6. Shopping trip.  This ties in with #5 above.  She’s threatened to take me out shopping for women’s clothes, making me try them on in the store for her to see.  She said she may do this with just the two of us or with other women.  It’s a pretty intimidating prospect.
  • Cheerleader cbt scene – It started as a joke, but it took on a life of its own.  T would be wearing a cheerleader outfit and kick me in the balls.  “Gimmie a C!  (*kick*) Gimmie a B!  (*kick*)  Gimmie a T!  (*kick*)”
  • Cruel schoolgirl scene– She posted an incredibly sexy shot of her in a schoolgirl outfit in front of some lockers, with an innocent-yet-potentially-wicked expression on her face.  I’m not big on role-plays, but this is one that I think could be a lot of fun.  I could be a teacher, another student, the creepy janitor, older brother, or any number of possibilities.  Update: We tried this out the other night- Read about it here.  It then got my mind racing, wondering what a teacher-student role-play would be like; unlike a typical teacher-student role-play, the student would be the top in this scene though, which lends itself to all sorts of fun wrongness.
  • Bottled water conditioning – She’s mentioned wanting to condition me to fear a certain brand of bottled water by repeatedly making me drink her piss out of these bottles.  She bought a case of this brand and saved every bottle after we drank the water.  She has already made me drink her piss from a few bottles so far, so the conditioning is beginning.  Currently, every time I see this brand, I immediately think of her making me drink her piss, though it’s not a fear response.  If she keeps this up over time, that might change.
  • Mouth soaping – Washing someone’s mouth out with a bar of soap has some really sexy power exchange connotations to it.  I know I definitely wouldn’t enjoy the act itself, but I still find the mental image of her working a bar of soap in and out of my mouth very hot.  Especially when combined with bondage.  Because everything is tastier with bondage.  Or maybe I’m just a pervert.  Yeah, we’ll go with that.  I’m not sure I’d be able to avoid pulling my head away though.  I can easily see myself pulling my head back (or turning to the side) to get away from the soap in that situation.  UPDATE- She did this to me this evening.  She told me, “Open up!” and then worked the bar in and out of my mouth a few times.  Bleh.  It was nasty, but her confidence made it sexy.  Her tone and her body were both saying, “I know you don’t like it, but I want to do this to you, so you’re going to submit to it.”  Damn.
  • On a related note- Her sliming up her feet or armpits with a bar of soap and making me lick her clean.
  • Foot worship after work– Yow.  This completely floored me.  I’m surprised the cock cage didn’t explode from the pressure.  We’ve done this here and there, and it blows me away every time.  This is one of the quickest ways to get me desperately horny.  It’s a favorite form of play for me (possibly the favorite) although it’s insanely frustrating if I’m in chastity; that’s when it becomes double-edged, getting me incredulously turned on while wanting it to stop at the same time.  She’s even been talking about pushing it further, making me kiss and lick her feet after 12-16 hours in boots.  I can’t wait to do this, especially if she doesn’t have me locked up at the time.  (Somehow I think there’s a slim chance of that happening though.)  Of course, we’ll need to try it many, many times to be sure we like it.  Just to be absolutely certain.  For science.
  • Also, there’s another aspect to this: At one event, she wore fishnets with boots for a few hours, and that seemed to make it a more intense experience.  So boots with no socks is one more angle we could potentially explore.
  • Fisting – This is something she’s expressed an interest in trying, and I’m very slightly curious.  I’ve heard others say fisting can be really intimate, so that appeals to me.  Plus, butt sex is just hot.  But I’ve never taken anything that large before.  UPDATE:  We tried this last night; read about it hereVery intense and amazing experience.
  • Hairbrush spanking – Hairbrushes are portable and innocuous.  And they can sneak up on you at any time.  I may buy one just to keep in the bathroom for constant quick access; that way there’s no need to open a toy bag.  UPDATE- I bought one, and she now keeps it in her toy bag.  It’s meeeeean.  But I do really like the traditional connotation of authority that comes with it.
  • Whipped with looped-over electrical/appliance cord – I tried this briefly years ago in a scene.  Really intense.  I’d like to explore it more.  And pretty much everywhere you go, there is some sort of electrical cord available.
  • Cock-locked for 1-2 years – A while back, she started threatening to lock me in a cock cage for over a year.  More recently, she’s started threatening two years.  Our longest at this point has been a little over four months.  So being made to go for over two years without orgasm would mean doing six times our current record.  If that’s not an intimidating prospect, I don’t know what is.  This would most definitely make my head explode.  There would be headfetti everywhere.
  • Permanent chastity- T has even teased me a few times about possibly making my chastity permanent.  While it’s a super intimidating prospect, it still sounds very hot, with massive d/s overtones.  I’ve got very mixed feelings on permanent chastity.  It’s scary.  Incredibly so.  But the thought of her making my chastity permanent, and me not having any say in the matter, gets me rock hard.
  • Ball-kicking with no warm-up – We’ve now tried this, and I found it incredibly hot!  Multiple kicks to the balls without any warm-up intimidated me.  At first I was worried it’d be too much, although the thought of it kept popping into my head.  This type of play doesn’t take long, and the recovery time is quick enough that it could probably be done multiple times in a day if desired.  It works well by itself if we don’t have time for a full-on scene; we can do this for a few minutes and then continue on with whatever we were doing.
  • Consensual nonconsent – This is an intriguing idea, though I’m certain I’d be miserable at the time.  For those not familiar with the term, consensual nonconsent involves temporarily removing the ability to safeword and continuing play even if the sub were to safeword.  This could be done with a few different forms of play, though impact is the most obvious.  It would definitely require either bondage or multiple women holding me down; otherwise, there’s no way I’d be able to take it.
  • Slave branding – This goes right in line with consensual nonconsent.  My ability to safeword would have to be removed if we were to do this.  There’s the potential for so much anticipatory build-up prior to the actual branding: being tied down, watching as the fire is started and the branding iron is placed over it, being unable to move as it slowly gets red-hot, etc.  Single-strike hot-iron branding is the only type that really appeals to me though.
  • Singletails- Singletails are so elegant, yet at the same time, capable of causing great pain; it’s a wonderful combination.  As a bonus, they can draw blood.  So of course I bought one.  It’s a nylon 4-foot whip.  Once T gets the hang of it (they have a bit of a learning curve) we can really explore this.
  • Her pissing on food and making me eat it – We’ve talked about her completely drenching my meal (or snack) and ruining it, yet still forcing me to eat it all.  This also started as a joke about her jumping up on the table at a restaurant that we frequent and letting loose on my meal.  But then it went from a joke to her going, “Hmmm…”   Another take on this would be her pissing on the food and letting it cool off completely; that would probably have more of a sinister, captor/prisoner vibe to it.  And probably be even more disgusting.  I don’t even know if I’d be able to eat that.  Update: We’ve now achieved food-pissery.
  • Long-term caging- We’ve only tried caging a few times, with the longest being about an hour.  It was highly sexiful.  I’m not sure how I’d react to longer periods in the cage, but I had no real  trouble with an hour.  I’m curious about being brought to the point of desperately wanting out of the cage, but still not being let out.  I imagine roughly 2-4 hours would have that effect, but that’s just a guess.  My main concern with longer-term caging would be bathroom use.  If I’m in a cock cage, pissing in a bottle wouldn’t work.  Also of concern is food- When I’m hungry, it distracts from anything else I’m feeling, and it puts me in a really bad headspace.  So in order to have this scene, she’d have to occasionally set some food in the cage.  This could easily be combined with the points in the paragraph above.  Or she could just slip in some granola bars, protein bars, etc. periodically.
  • Being beaten with a switch.  I hear they sting.  Quite a lot.
  • Using me as a toilet for an entire weekend without once using an actual toilet.  We nearly tried this at a weekend camping event, but I’d just had a severe concussion the weekend before and wasn’t quite up to it.  Even if I’d tried it, I doubt either of us would’ve gotten as much out of the experience as we would’ve if I were fully with it.
  • Her fucking her own ass with a dildo and making me lick and suck it clean afterward.  Eew.  But also very hot.
  • Strap-on gangbang – T has mentioned wanting to get about half a dozen women, tie me down, and take turns fucking me in both ends.  Super-sexy thought, but I know I’d reeeeeally want it to stop at the time.  I’m honestly not real sure how long I’d be able to take this before I break.  My guess is not real long.  She’s also mentioned the possibility of removing my safeword for this, making it a genuine gang rape.  Fuckity fuck fuck.  I just want to back away slowly when I think of that.  I also worry about being fucked too hard, to the point of damage.  So they’d have to watch closely and avoid jackhammer fucking if this were to happen.  UPDATE- She gave me my first experience with double penetration last week for our anniversary.  It was all kinds of amazing.  Read about it here.
  • Pimping me out- Not long after we first started seeing each other, she said, “I want to pimp you out to other women.”  My issue is that I can’t play with anyone I don’t find attractive.  So the solution we came up with is for her to pimp me out to women I find attractive (and who aren’t batshit crazy.)  In other words, women who I’d be ok playing with.  The terms of the pimpery are up to her; she can loan me out for whatever kind of use she likes.  I’m not quite sure what exactly she had in mind with that “I want to pimp you out to other women”, but I’m sure she’s not going to tell me either.
  • Playing with and/or getting sexual with a trans woman.  I’ve experienced strap-on play plenty of times, but never a bio-cock.  I’ve run into some very attractive trans women, but one thing or another prevented me from approaching, whether it was time constraints, not feeling well, or already having a bunch of scenes lined up.  I’m still *very* curious about this though.
  • Whipped until bloody – We’ve done some bloodplay with the Flogger of Doom, and it was incredible.  We’ve talked a little about going further with this type of play, with her whipping me with the Flogger of Doom and other implements until blood is dripping down my legs.  But our choice of venue would be rather limited since this would splatter blood everywhere.  A tarp wouldn’t be enough coverage since it’d only cover the floor and furniture.  Though a large tarp in my own place could be workable.
  • Her spitting on the ground or floor, stepping in it and twisting her foot around in it, then making me lick her spit from the sole of her boot or shoe.  This is just nasty and hot.  I really like the “dirty” aspect of this.
  • Just like the previous item, but without the spit.  Her making me lick the soles of her boots/shoes clean probably isn’t something I’d enjoy in the moment, but I think it’s one of those things that would be really hot afterward.  And it would push me, which is always a plus.  Update– We tried this the other night.  According to her, my face said “Please don’t make me do this!” but my cock was hard the entire time.  This was incredibly sexy!  Just plain wow.  The point of veiw and the nastiness of being made to clean the dirt and daily random crud from her boots really got me hot.
  • Strawberry shake- Like many other things, this started out as a joke, but then it turned sexy.  She was teasing me about slipping some strawberries up her ass and leaving them there for a while, then making me eat them off the floor.  Jokingly at first, but when she saw how it made me squirm and that it wasn’t a limit, she started pressing a little more.  Bleh.  That’d be just plain nasty.  And really difficult.  Still, the control aspect of it really strikes me.  Especially since she told me I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter; that easily made it ten times hotter.  And dominating the mouth is very much a hot-button form of play for me.  Ever since we had this conversation, it’s been stuck in my head, like a song that just keeps repeating.

So there’s a lot here, some of which we’ve tried and some we haven’t.  Almost any of these could easily be added to our play on a regular basis if we enjoy them.  That’s one thing I like about bdsm- there’s always something new to learn and explore.  Even after doing this for a decade, there are still dozens of things to try.  And there are still lots of things that make me fidget or tremble in fear.

Dominating the Mouth

There are lots of forms of play I’m into- pain, humiliation, bondage, etc., but one form always defied easy description.  For a while I was going with “erotically disgusting”, although the more I think about it, “dominating the mouth” is more apt.

We guard our mouths closely.  They’re important to us.  They’re valuable.  We watch what goes into them and what comes near them.  We flinch when someone makes a sudden move toward them.  What better target for dominance than something so valuable and guarded?

There’s a certain humiliation edge with some forms of mouthular dominance.  Being made to drink the domme’s piss (bleh) or lick her ass certainly qualifies.  Even letting spit fall into the sub’s mouth can have a bit of humiliation to it since spitting has derogatory connotations associated with it.  Having to kneel and suck the domme’s strap-on cock can have a humiliating edge to it as well.

Taste and smell are closely related, and other forms of mouthitudinal dominance focus more on these senses.  Having to kneel and lick the domme’s feet after she’s been working or wearing boots all day is one of the more erotic forms of dominating the mouth.  For me, it definitely creates that yes/no dichotomy so prevalent in bdsm, and it’s one of the biggest things that can drive me up a wall.  Taking the domme’s socks that she’s been wearing all day and using them as a gag has a similar effect.

Gags in general are a common way to dominate the mouth, whether it’s a store-bought gag or a pair of panties or socks.  Taking away the ability to speak can be powerful.  Moaning (or even screaming) into a gag drives home the helplessness the sub often feels when being pushed hard.

Cum play crosses a few of these lines; it’s both humiliating and not real pleasant to eat.  The taste and texture are just plain nasty to me.  This gives it more of a d/s edge when I’m made to do it, since it’s not really something I want to do at the moment.  T has been occasionally taunting me about how she intends to make me eat other guys’ cum while keeping me locked up.  And the way she’s phrasing it, there is no room for discussion here.  It will happen.  I’m already shaking inside.  It’s not something I really want to do, but it’s also not a limit (as long as the guys are clean) and I can see the potential for it being a hot experience.  And I’m pretty sure something like this would deepen the d/s between us.  Very intense dominance of the mouth here that also reaches into the rest of my being.

There are a couple forms of mouth play that I’m mildly curious about.  One is something I heard about at an event a few months ago.  A group of dommes tied the sub down.  They then chewed some food fairly thoroughly, spit it into his mouth, and made him eat it.  It sounds kind of nasty.  The other one I’m slightly curious about is armpit licking.  I have to wonder if it’d have a similar vibe to doing foot play, though honestly I doubt it.  Then there’s the problem of deodorant- it’s not made to be ingested, so it’d have to be skipped.

All these things can have a fairly high level of intimacy about them depending on how they’re done.  Personally I think it’s a beautiful way of playing and expanding the d/s.