I don’t go to sites that are centered around bdsm personal ads. But lots of sites/forums/discussion groups have a section for ads. And they invariably piss me off.*
First, the dommes. Many of them are actually pros looking for clients, and they use the personal ads to make it look like they’re seeking a non-pro relationship. Off the clock. Dig a little deeper, and you find out the truth. While I have nothing against pros in general, I do have a problem with deliberate deception.
Of the non-pros posting ads, the majority are either looking for online-only situations, or they’re looking for someone to take care of their housework and attempting to pass it off as bdsm. Oh, yes, I’d love to come do your housework and experience a loveless, unfulfilling “relationship” as one of many spineless little puppets in your collection.
Then there are the subs. So many of them throw themselves at any dominant woman out there. They assume that just because she’s dominant, that automatically means they’re a great match for each other, as if that were the only criterion for a successful relationship. They claim they’ll bend themselves to whatever she wants. What woman wants a formless piece of, er, clay to mold, someone who has no personality, interests, or identity? And why don’t they realize that it devalues what they give when they’re willing to give it away to just anyone?
Others just post an ad with minimal information, and their profiles usually aren’t filled out. They just say that they’re submissive, and occasionally they’ll mention the state or country they live in. That’s it. No other information for the reader to grab onto, nothing to pique the reader’s interest. I bet the dommes are just beating down the door trying to get to these guys. Why would anyone waste the time responding to an ad if it’s essentially blank?
And how about using spell-check? It comes free with most (if not all) internet browsers. I don’t know of anyone who is looking for a partner who comes across as an uneducated shlub.
Oh, and people? “Dominate” is a verb! It’s not an adjective!
This is why I’m looking for someone mostly in the local scene rather than online. It seems near impossible to find someone compatible online. I know it happens, but I think the chances are better looking locally. Even though the bdsm community around here is 90% male-dominant/female-submissive. But that’s a topic for another day.
*I should add the disclaimer that not all online ads are like this, some are well-written and genuine, etc.