My Inaugural Post as a Norse Deity

The other night was a night of expanding boundaries.  And then stomping on those boundaries.  And setting them on fire.  We ended up popping a few play cherries as well in addition to doing some play that was formerly a hard limit for me.  T implied that she had something special planned for that night, but I had no idea what.  I am coming up on a birthday, which is also the same day she collared me two years ago.  It’s a birthdayversary.  So there are celebration-worthy occasions about.

I picked T up from work and we went to my place.  She told me to strip and kiss her feet.  She then made me clean the soles of her sandals with my tongue.  This has a pretty intense cognitive dissonance with me.  All I could think as I was doing it was of her earlier comment that day about how dirty the floor at work is.  My brain wanted it to stop, but certain other parts of me disagreed vehemently.

Afterward she had me crawl into my cage in the living room.  Before closing it, she put earplugs in my ears and a hood over my head.  She had only done this once before, so I started to guess at what was coming: some sort of group scene.

She kept me in the cage for what felt like about an hour.  Eventually letting me out, she led me upstairs, still hooded.  Upon removing the hood, there stood two of our friends, a male-female couple.  I’ve played with the female half of this couple a few times before, and it was always gobs of fun.  She and T wasted no time in getting me into position.  They had me kneel at the foot of my bed (facing the bed), stretched my arms wide, cuffed them to the footboard, and popped a set of nipple clamps on me.  One thing was present that I wasn’t used to seeing during a scene: cake.  They brought a small cake with them, and it was sitting on my dresser.  After some initial biting, scratching, and ass-smacking, they began saying how nice it was that my male friend was going to help decorate my cake.  His partner mentioned that it was even nicer of T to help him with this decoration.  As she said this, T got up on the bed, on all fours, face-to-face with me.  He then proceeded to fuck T from behind while his partner probed my ass and bit me.  In this position, I was unable to turn away, my face a foot or two away from T’s as she moaned and writhed.  She’d occasionally look me in the eye or smile at me, letting me know how much she was enjoying rubbing this in my face.  Her face was saying, “I’m loving this and you can’t do a thing about it!”  Her cheeks became flush after a while, and this time I wasn’t the one causing it.  I’d yank on the cuffs, but they didn’t give at all.  At one point T realized this whole situation had made my dick stand at attention; she just looked at my hard cock and laughed in my face while enjoying someone else’s hard cock.  That absolutely drove me up a wall!

I also had the realization that this was actually happening.  Something that had always been a hard limit for me was now going on.  For real.  Not in my head.  Not on some fet group or in a story, but in my bedroom.  Flesh and blood.  This was reality.

After a while he stopped fucking T and asked for the cake.  To both women’s cheers, he came all over it, and they set it aside.  Afterward, his partner had me suck her dildo, which resulted in an orgasm for her and was ten pounds of sexy.  The three of us played some more while my male friend watched.  Eventually he had enough for round two, and masturbated onto the cake again.

Still kneeling and cuffed in place, T brought the plate of cake over and cut off a bite-size piece.  She dragged it through the cum on the plate and brought it up to my mouth.  “Please, no…” I said, which was met with , “Open wide!”

BDV (4)

She kept feeding me forkful after forkful, making me shudder.  I couldn’t taste the cum at all, but I could tell it was there from the texture.  Not as bad as eating cum straight, but still difficult.  Then T said, “Now I’m going to make it even better” and walked away.  She came back shortly after with a cup of her piss. . . which she promptly poured all over the cake.  They uncuffed me and led me downstairs to the kitchen.  The plate was placed on the floor, and T made me start eating.  It was mushy and warm.  I can’t say I’d ever had mushy and warm cake until that point.  The three of them cut a slice for themselves from a separate cake, one devoid of piss, cum, and other such lavish garnishments.  They stood there eating theirs, remarking on how good it was, while I gagged and swallowed piss cake.  (As I write this, I’m eating a leftover piece of the cake not covered in bodily fluids; they were right, it is really tasty!)

This wasn’t the end though.  T wiped my face off with a paper towel and led me back upstairs.  She showed me a picture online and the trail of comments that followed.  It was a picture she’d posted after our anniversary scene in December.  She’d carved “happy anniversary hardcore legend” into my back that night.  (For an explanation of that nickname, click here.)  The guy who dubbed me with that nickname commented on the photo right after it had been posted, saying he should’ve given me a longer nickname.  I jokingly suggested “Sir Thor LionHammerThunder, Great Defender of the North.”  This exchange occurred soon after the picture was posted in December, and I’d forgotten all about it.

That smartassery came back to bite me.

BDV (32)

This cutting took a while.  Last time she carved words into my back, I had a really hard time not squirming all over the place.  This time, it was a little different.  T started humming softly at one point, which is an ASMR trigger for me.  She was going for a creepy vibe by quietly humming a song while cutting me, which she definitely accomplished.  But at the same time, it relaxed my head just enough to avoid crawling off the bed.  I still felt every cut though.  Also, our female friend kept rubbing my legs (and at one point I think sat on them?) which helped as well.  I was able to tolerate the cutting without any real sudden jerks this time.

Soon after, our friends left.  Laying on the bed with T, I found myself spontaneously begging her to let me cum.  Begging is still difficult for me, so the fact that I did it without her telling me to speaks to how worked up I was.  I was stunned when she said yes, but I wasn’t going to question that.  After six months without being allowed to orgasm at all, it felt amazing.  Fireworks.  It felt like my brain was short-circuited for a minute or so after.  She did have me eat all my cum afterward, but I was still so floaty and happy that I got to cum that it wasn’t as bad as usual.  Strangely, after long periods of chastity, when I finally get to orgasm again, I sometimes get into a giggle fit right after.  I had a small one after this orgasm too.  Definitely a solid way to end the night!

I’ve Been Schooled.

T occasionally puts together a schoolgirl outfit to go to a munch or other event.  It’s not a frequent thing, but she’s done it at least a few times since I’ve known her.   A while back, she posted a picture of her in a schoolgirl outfit, with a mischievous-yet-innocent look on her face.  I commented that that picture really made me wish I was bullied in school, and I mentioned something about how she could stuff me into a locker any time.

The other night, I picked her up from work and brought her back to her place so she could change before coming to mine.  Once she changed, she stepped up to me in the schoolgirl outfit and asked, “How do I look?”  After I responded, she got closer.  Her tone changed.  It became much colder and sharper.  She got in my face.  “Good.  Because from now on, I’m that bitch who bullied you in school.  And if you tell anyone that I’m spending time with you, I’ll ruin your ass.  I’ll make life miserable for you.  Now get my bags.”  Then she turned and walked out.  Even the way she moved was pointed and bitchy.  I was stunned.  I wasn’t quite sure how to react to this, and all I could do was stammer and obey.

I put my boots on and followed her out.  She scolded me for not keeping up with her.  The drive to my place is about fifteen minutes, and it was a silent, awkward fifteen minutes.   She kept her arms folded in front of her the whole time, not saying a word.  I was too nervous to say anything.

Once we arrived at my place, T went upstairs and had me strip.  She beat my ass with a ruler while chiding me for not getting her an A on her last homework assignment.  I have to wonder if my neighbor was home and heard that part; the thought of it makes me smile.   At one point she took off the tie she was wearing (which she’d borrowed from me) and choked me with it.  I now have happy memories associated with that tie.  T also kicked me in the balls about a dozen times and then made me kiss her shoes to thank her. She followed this by pissing on my face in the bathtub and then riding a dildo gag she’d strapped in my mouth.  It was twenty pounds of sexy.  Maybe even twenty-five.

I’m focusing less on the physical aspects of play here and more on the other aspects for a reason.  I find them thought-provoking.

For a while it felt nearly like we were really high school students going through this.  Her mannerisms were very much like those of  a spoiled, bitchy teenager in school.  She never broke character.  It stopped feeling like a role-play and became reality; for a while I believed it.  And even though I could throw her if I wanted to, I still felt intimidated by her.  I never knew what to expect next.  She made me feel smaller than her, which I’m sure was at least part of her intention.

Since she made me feel smaller, it also feels like this type of scene has a ton of potential for humiliation.  It felt like I was primed for or somehow predisposed to humiliation during this scene.  This style of scene would probably lend itself rather easily to incorporating the other forms of humiliation that we’ve done as well.  Things like face spitting, licking the soles of her shoes, cum eating, forced feminization, or armpit licking would very easily fit in a scene like this.  But what I find interesting is that other things that I don’t normally find very humiliating can take on a humiliating edge with this kind of scene; when she had me kneel and kiss her shoes, I felt a slight tinge of humiliation, even though I normally don’t feel that when I kiss her shoes.  I feel like sucking her strap-on during this type of role-play would be similar.  The entire time we played, I felt slightly off-balance and more prone to being humiliated.

For my part, I felt a little awkward at times since I wasn’t sure how to react.  I was never bullied, so I wasn’t sure how the person being bullied would normally react.  Plus, I normally get much quieter during scenes, so carrying my weight in a role-play can be even more difficult.  Thankfully T was strongly driving this scene, especially since in this scenario the bully is the one doing most of the talking.

I’ve also never been big on role play, but this really worked well, and it helped improve my thoughts on role play in general.  This scenario in particular has a lot of possibilities as well; I could be not only another student as we just did, but I could also be a teacher, older brother, principal, etc.  And we could easily incorporate any form of play that we do.  There are a lot of ways to go.  It’s got a built-in freshness to it.  Role playing has often felt forced or just silly in my previous experiences with it, but this flowed really well.

Another aspect I find intriguing is that I’ve never gone for the icy bitch type.  Even in fantasy, it never really did anything for me.  Maybe I was okay with this because it was a role-play and not who she is in our daily relationship.  I really, really don’t get along with people like that in real life.  Even if it were someone I met at an event and wanted to play with, I’d pass if she were like that.  But I trusted T and went along with it, and I’m very glad I did.  It turned out to be a wild scene that expanded my horizons.

I’m still chewing on my thoughts on this a few days after it happened, which tells me that my brain got wrapped around something good.

99 Ways to Perv

T and I have something we call perv lists.  They’re lists of things that either she or I have mentioned wanting to experience.  Some of these are things that I saw at parties and have stayed stuck in my brain since, while others seemingly randomly popped into my head.   She won’t tell me what’s on her list though, since she wants to keep the element of surprise.  These are almost like a bucket list of kink.  The purpose of this list is different though.  Unlike a bucket list, if we really get off on something that we try from this list, we can do it again and again.  And again.  And again, just for good measure.  We can add it to our regular repertoire rather than just checking it off of a list.

My list isn’t in any real order.  Some of these things have come up in conversation repeatedly, while others were simply mentioned once a long time ago and never again.

  • Ass-beating with her belt – We tried this last night.  Depending how she wielded it, it delivered everything from nice warmup-type pain to searing flashes of sting.  And she’d sometimes hit the belt on itself to make a loud slapping noise.  That made me tense up when she did that.  Very sexy.  Watching her take off her belt always appealed to me because I could imagine her beating me with it.  Now, I’m sure that feeling will be even stronger.
  • Needles through the nipples – I’m not curious about needle play in any other body parts.  It just doesn’t seem like it’d be an erotic form of pain anywhere except the nipples.
  • Lick her piss or her spit from off of her bare feet –  nasty, and oh-so-hot.  This would also work well with the soles of her shoes/boots/sandals.
  • Armpit-licking – I was curious about this for a little while, and eventually we tried it.  I was surprised at how hot it got me.  (To be clear, I’m talking about doing this without deodorant since there are a lot of nasty chemicals in it.  Deodorant isn’t meant to be eaten.  Bleh.)  And it also wasn’t done straight out of the shower either; she’d been going around for at least a few hours, sometimes more, with no deodorant before making me lick her armpits.  It appealed to me on many of the same levels foot worship does- armpits have that dirty, “low” connotation, and dominating the mouth is just plain sexy.  Foot worship is still one of my absolute favorite forms of play though; it hasn’t been unseated.  But licking her armpits definitely drove me up a wall!  The taste, the scent, the “wrongness”… This got me incredibly turned on.
  • A spit bukkake scene- Multiple women taking turns spitting in my face over and over again.  Face-spitting is powerful to me; it’s humiliating and traditionally degrading/insulting.  The social connotations that come along with face-spitting are probably what makes this so sexy to me.  Having multiple women involved only increases the humiliation factor since they are not only taking part, but also a built-in audience.  A group of women taking their time, taking turns, and laughing at me as the slowly cover my face in their spit is an incredibly powerful fantasy for me.
  • Cum play in various incarnations.  She strongly prefers using other men’s cum rather than my own in these scenarios, and obviously they’d need to be screened for STIs:
  1. Creampie cleanup- Licking another man’s cum from her pussy, especially after watching them fuck, would most likely be a humiliating experience.
  2. Drink cum mixed in a glass of her piss
  3. Lick cum from her soles We’ve tried this once now- read about it here and here.  It was easily one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever had.  (She’s also floated the idea of using multiple men’s cum all at once for this.)
  4. Lick cum from her armpit
  5. Snowballing others’ cum- After going down on someone else (either in front of me or not) and having a mouthful of cum, kissing me.
  6. Someone (or someones) cumming on her sock, followed by her gagging me with it
  7. Someone cumming on her panties, followed by her gagging me with them
  8. Felching- She’s half-threatened to make me suck someone else’s cum from her asshole.  This is just nasty and wrong, so of course the thought of it gets me really hot.
  9. Pimp cup (an ornate cup she wants to have completely filled with other mens’ cum before making me drink it all.  That’s an insanely large amount of cum.)  I thought she was joking about this, but she insists she isn’t.
  10. Kneel and lick cum from off of her shoe/boot in a more public environment (club, party, etc.)  This might be harder though, since the top of the foot is rounder, so the cum might slide right off.  Cum might stick better to nylons, but that’s just a guess.  Because of that, I’m really not sure if this is feasible.  I do know that the public humiliation aspect would be both horrible and sexy.
  11. Lick cum from off the sole of her shoe/boot/sandal, especially a pair that she wears often.  This would be difficult as well, but the thought of it gets me hard.
  12. Cum drive- This started as a joke about having an orgasm drive (like a telethon) since I’ve been denied so many orgasms.  Then she twisted it into collecting other mens’  orgasms rather than my own.  She taunted me with the idea of letting multiple men cum all over her- ass, tits, armpits, soles, in her mouth, etc.- and making me clean it all up.  All without letting me orgasm.
  13.  Clean her up during a gangbang.  This is the most intimidating one on this list.  I’d have to watch other men get off inside her, then come over and clean their cum out of her pussy, ass, and mouth one at a time.  Over and over again.  The thought of this makes me nervous.

With all the different forms of cum play we’ve talked about, every single one of them gives me butterflies.  That said, I think I could wrap my head around doing this just once and getting it over with.  But she’s repeatedly said she wants to make this a regular, frequent part of our play, which makes me tremble to think of it.  She said she wants to make me her cumdumpster; really, what can you say to that?  Doing this type of play on a regular basis (especially when she won’t let me orgasm myself) seems incredibly intense, and it’d push me hard; at the same time, the thought of it gets me hot.  The thought of doing this as often as she wants to makes me want to curl up in a little ball.  Or take a play from the ostriches and bury my head in the sand.  Maybe she won’t see me.

  • Have a scene outside
  • Pimp cup (see #8 above) filled with spit and making me drink it
  • Foot-smelling scene.  This is pretty basic, but I think I would kink pretty hard on this.  We discussed having me bound in a straitjacket or with hands cuffed behind me, and then gagged.  Most likely with a posture collar to keep me from turning my head.  Laying on my back on the floor, she could be up on a piece of furniture and simply rest her feet on my face.  I’d be unable to get away and unable to breathe through my mouth.  It’s a simple idea, and one that uses one of the most basic, primal senses.
  • Banana Spit- This stemmed from me misreading a sign at an ice cream shop.  It brought to mind an image of a group of women passing around a small bowl or cup of ice cream (though this would work with any food or snack really) and spitting in it, over and over, for quite some time.  Covering it with inches of spit.  Being made to eat food that’s absolutely drenched in spit would be incredibly nasty.   Which is probably why it appeals to me.
  • Piss in cornflakes – That way, if I’m in a bad mood and someone says, “Hey, who pissed in your cornflakes?” I could just point to her.
  • Co-topping– She’s mentioned quite a few times that she really enjoys co-topping, and that she wants to top me with another woman at the same time.  We’ve now done this- We had a super-hot anniversary scene as well as an a mind-melting birthdayversary scene.
  • Public humiliation- When I say “public” in this sense, I’m talking about more of an adult vanilla-public environment rather than a play party or other bdsm event-
  1.    Foot kissing
  2.    Ass kissing
  3.    Face spitting
  4. Shoe shopping– We talked about going shoe shopping (for her) together, with me kneeling to put on and take off her shoes.  We tried this pretty early on, and it hit me both in a sexy way and a d/s way.  This is a very happy memory.
  5.   Forced feminization– We’ve done public forced feminization once before, and it was incredibly intense.  It also had much more of a d/s vibe than I was expecting.  Since then, she’s threatened to take me out fully crossdressed on one of the busier streets in a more adult-oriented part of town on a Friday night or Saturday night when it’s crowded.  I’m not sure how much of that I could handle.  That would be really difficult.
  6. Shopping trip.  This ties in with #5 above.  She’s threatened to take me out shopping for women’s clothes, making me try them on in the store for her to see.  She said she may do this with just the two of us or with other women.  It’s a pretty intimidating prospect.
  • Cheerleader cbt scene – It started as a joke, but it took on a life of its own.  T would be wearing a cheerleader outfit and kick me in the balls.  “Gimmie a C!  (*kick*) Gimmie a B!  (*kick*)  Gimmie a T!  (*kick*)”
  • Cruel schoolgirl scene– She posted an incredibly sexy shot of her in a schoolgirl outfit in front of some lockers, with an innocent-yet-potentially-wicked expression on her face.  I’m not big on role-plays, but this is one that I think could be a lot of fun.  I could be a teacher, another student, the creepy janitor, older brother, or any number of possibilities.  Update: We tried this out the other night- Read about it here.  It then got my mind racing, wondering what a teacher-student role-play would be like; unlike a typical teacher-student role-play, the student would be the top in this scene though, which lends itself to all sorts of fun wrongness.
  • Bottled water conditioning – She’s mentioned wanting to condition me to fear a certain brand of bottled water by repeatedly making me drink her piss out of these bottles.  She bought a case of this brand and saved every bottle after we drank the water.  She has already made me drink her piss from a few bottles so far, so the conditioning is beginning.  Currently, every time I see this brand, I immediately think of her making me drink her piss, though it’s not a fear response.  If she keeps this up over time, that might change.
  • Mouth soaping – Washing someone’s mouth out with a bar of soap has some really sexy power exchange connotations to it.  I know I definitely wouldn’t enjoy the act itself, but I still find the mental image of her working a bar of soap in and out of my mouth very hot.  Especially when combined with bondage.  Because everything is tastier with bondage.  Or maybe I’m just a pervert.  Yeah, we’ll go with that.  I’m not sure I’d be able to avoid pulling my head away though.  I can easily see myself pulling my head back (or turning to the side) to get away from the soap in that situation.  UPDATE- She did this to me this evening.  She told me, “Open up!” and then worked the bar in and out of my mouth a few times.  Bleh.  It was nasty, but her confidence made it sexy.  Her tone and her body were both saying, “I know you don’t like it, but I want to do this to you, so you’re going to submit to it.”  Damn.
  • On a related note- Her sliming up her feet or armpits with a bar of soap and making me lick her clean.
  • Foot worship after work– Yow.  This completely floored me.  I’m surprised the cock cage didn’t explode from the pressure.  We’ve done this here and there, and it blows me away every time.  This is one of the quickest ways to get me desperately horny.  It’s a favorite form of play for me (possibly the favorite) although it’s insanely frustrating if I’m in chastity; that’s when it becomes double-edged, getting me incredulously turned on while wanting it to stop at the same time.  She’s even been talking about pushing it further, making me kiss and lick her feet after 12-16 hours in boots.  I can’t wait to do this, especially if she doesn’t have me locked up at the time.  (Somehow I think there’s a slim chance of that happening though.)  Of course, we’ll need to try it many, many times to be sure we like it.  Just to be absolutely certain.  For science.
  • Also, there’s another aspect to this: At one event, she wore fishnets with boots for a few hours, and that seemed to make it a more intense experience.  So boots with no socks is one more angle we could potentially explore.
  • Fisting – This is something she’s expressed an interest in trying, and I’m very slightly curious.  I’ve heard others say fisting can be really intimate, so that appeals to me.  Plus, butt sex is just hot.  But I’ve never taken anything that large before.  UPDATE:  We tried this last night; read about it hereVery intense and amazing experience.
  • Hairbrush spanking – Hairbrushes are portable and innocuous.  And they can sneak up on you at any time.  I may buy one just to keep in the bathroom for constant quick access; that way there’s no need to open a toy bag.  UPDATE- I bought one, and she now keeps it in her toy bag.  It’s meeeeean.  But I do really like the traditional connotation of authority that comes with it.
  • Whipped with looped-over electrical/appliance cord – I tried this briefly years ago in a scene.  Really intense.  I’d like to explore it more.  And pretty much everywhere you go, there is some sort of electrical cord available.
  • Cock-locked for 1-2 years – A while back, she started threatening to lock me in a cock cage for over a year.  More recently, she’s started threatening two years.  Our longest at this point has been a little over four months.  So being made to go for over two years without orgasm would mean doing six times our current record.  If that’s not an intimidating prospect, I don’t know what is.  This would most definitely make my head explode.  There would be headfetti everywhere.
  • Permanent chastity- T has even teased me a few times about possibly making my chastity permanent.  While it’s a super intimidating prospect, it still sounds very hot, with massive d/s overtones.  I’ve got very mixed feelings on permanent chastity.  It’s scary.  Incredibly so.  But the thought of her making my chastity permanent, and me not having any say in the matter, gets me rock hard.
  • Ball-kicking with no warm-up – We’ve now tried this, and I found it incredibly hot!  Multiple kicks to the balls without any warm-up intimidated me.  At first I was worried it’d be too much, although the thought of it kept popping into my head.  This type of play doesn’t take long, and the recovery time is quick enough that it could probably be done multiple times in a day if desired.  It works well by itself if we don’t have time for a full-on scene; we can do this for a few minutes and then continue on with whatever we were doing.
  • Consensual nonconsent – This is an intriguing idea, though I’m certain I’d be miserable at the time.  For those not familiar with the term, consensual nonconsent involves temporarily removing the ability to safeword and continuing play even if the sub were to safeword.  This could be done with a few different forms of play, though impact is the most obvious.  It would definitely require either bondage or multiple women holding me down; otherwise, there’s no way I’d be able to take it.
  • Slave branding – This goes right in line with consensual nonconsent.  My ability to safeword would have to be removed if we were to do this.  There’s the potential for so much anticipatory build-up prior to the actual branding: being tied down, watching as the fire is started and the branding iron is placed over it, being unable to move as it slowly gets red-hot, etc.  Single-strike hot-iron branding is the only type that really appeals to me though.
  • Singletails- Singletails are so elegant, yet at the same time, capable of causing great pain; it’s a wonderful combination.  As a bonus, they can draw blood.  So of course I bought one.  It’s a nylon 4-foot whip.  Once T gets the hang of it (they have a bit of a learning curve) we can really explore this.
  • Her pissing on food and making me eat it – We’ve talked about her completely drenching my meal (or snack) and ruining it, yet still forcing me to eat it all.  This also started as a joke about her jumping up on the table at a restaurant that we frequent and letting loose on my meal.  But then it went from a joke to her going, “Hmmm…”   Another take on this would be her pissing on the food and letting it cool off completely; that would probably have more of a sinister, captor/prisoner vibe to it.  And probably be even more disgusting.  I don’t even know if I’d be able to eat that.  Update: We’ve now achieved food-pissery.
  • Long-term caging- We’ve only tried caging a few times, with the longest being about an hour.  It was highly sexiful.  I’m not sure how I’d react to longer periods in the cage, but I had no real  trouble with an hour.  I’m curious about being brought to the point of desperately wanting out of the cage, but still not being let out.  I imagine roughly 2-4 hours would have that effect, but that’s just a guess.  My main concern with longer-term caging would be bathroom use.  If I’m in a cock cage, pissing in a bottle wouldn’t work.  Also of concern is food- When I’m hungry, it distracts from anything else I’m feeling, and it puts me in a really bad headspace.  So in order to have this scene, she’d have to occasionally set some food in the cage.  This could easily be combined with the points in the paragraph above.  Or she could just slip in some granola bars, protein bars, etc. periodically.
  • Being beaten with a switch.  I hear they sting.  Quite a lot.
  • Using me as a toilet for an entire weekend without once using an actual toilet.  We nearly tried this at a weekend camping event, but I’d just had a severe concussion the weekend before and wasn’t quite up to it.  Even if I’d tried it, I doubt either of us would’ve gotten as much out of the experience as we would’ve if I were fully with it.
  • Her fucking her own ass with a dildo and making me lick and suck it clean afterward.  Eew.  But also very hot.
  • Strap-on gangbang – T has mentioned wanting to get about half a dozen women, tie me down, and take turns fucking me in both ends.  Super-sexy thought, but I know I’d reeeeeally want it to stop at the time.  I’m honestly not real sure how long I’d be able to take this before I break.  My guess is not real long.  She’s also mentioned the possibility of removing my safeword for this, making it a genuine gang rape.  Fuckity fuck fuck.  I just want to back away slowly when I think of that.  I also worry about being fucked too hard, to the point of damage.  So they’d have to watch closely and avoid jackhammer fucking if this were to happen.  UPDATE- She gave me my first experience with double penetration last week for our anniversary.  It was all kinds of amazing.  Read about it here.
  • Pimping me out- Not long after we first started seeing each other, she said, “I want to pimp you out to other women.”  My issue is that I can’t play with anyone I don’t find attractive.  So the solution we came up with is for her to pimp me out to women I find attractive (and who aren’t batshit crazy.)  In other words, women who I’d be ok playing with.  The terms of the pimpery are up to her; she can loan me out for whatever kind of use she likes.  I’m not quite sure what exactly she had in mind with that “I want to pimp you out to other women”, but I’m sure she’s not going to tell me either.
  • Playing with and/or getting sexual with a trans woman.  I’ve experienced strap-on play plenty of times, but never a bio-cock.  I’ve run into some very attractive trans women, but one thing or another prevented me from approaching, whether it was time constraints, not feeling well, or already having a bunch of scenes lined up.  I’m still *very* curious about this though.
  • Whipped until bloody – We’ve done some bloodplay with the Flogger of Doom, and it was incredible.  We’ve talked a little about going further with this type of play, with her whipping me with the Flogger of Doom and other implements until blood is dripping down my legs.  But our choice of venue would be rather limited since this would splatter blood everywhere.  A tarp wouldn’t be enough coverage since it’d only cover the floor and furniture.  Though a large tarp in my own place could be workable.
  • Her spitting on the ground or floor, stepping in it and twisting her foot around in it, then making me lick her spit from the sole of her boot or shoe.  This is just nasty and hot.  I really like the “dirty” aspect of this.
  • Just like the previous item, but without the spit.  Her making me lick the soles of her boots/shoes clean probably isn’t something I’d enjoy in the moment, but I think it’s one of those things that would be really hot afterward.  And it would push me, which is always a plus.  Update– We tried this the other night.  According to her, my face said “Please don’t make me do this!” but my cock was hard the entire time.  This was incredibly sexy!  Just plain wow.  The point of veiw and the nastiness of being made to clean the dirt and daily random crud from her boots really got me hot.
  • Strawberry shake- Like many other things, this started out as a joke, but then it turned sexy.  She was teasing me about slipping some strawberries up her ass and leaving them there for a while, then making me eat them off the floor.  Jokingly at first, but when she saw how it made me squirm and that it wasn’t a limit, she started pressing a little more.  Bleh.  That’d be just plain nasty.  And really difficult.  Still, the control aspect of it really strikes me.  Especially since she told me I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter; that easily made it ten times hotter.  And dominating the mouth is very much a hot-button form of play for me.  Ever since we had this conversation, it’s been stuck in my head, like a song that just keeps repeating.

So there’s a lot here, some of which we’ve tried and some we haven’t.  Almost any of these could easily be added to our play on a regular basis if we enjoy them.  That’s one thing I like about bdsm- there’s always something new to learn and explore.  Even after doing this for a decade, there are still dozens of things to try.  And there are still lots of things that make me fidget or tremble in fear.

A Bottle of Dread

T has been mentioning for a while now that she wants to condition me, Pavlov-style, to fear a specific brand of water bottles.  It started with a bdsm event we were at; it was the first time we’d done piss play.  She made me drink her piss from a plastic water bottle that she’d filled up in the bathroom a few minutes earlier.  Afterward, we joked that every time I saw that brand of water somewhere, I’d cower in fear.  But then her eyes lit up, and I saw her tucking away an idea in her head for later.

It’s later.  When we were out the other day, she bought a case of this brand of water.  A case.  24 bottles.  I never know when she’s going to spring it on me.  She could come at me with a bottle of her piss at any time.  We could be playing, or we could be out with friends, on a date, or just sitting at home. Her enjoyment is inversely proportional to mine- The more I squirm and gag, the more she smiles and enjoys it.

Currently, whenever I see this brand of water, I just chuckle to myself.  But she wants to induce real fear in me whenever I see it.  Not a phobia or anything debilitating, but a genuine fear response.  It’s something I’d rather not go through with, but at the same time, I don’t see it as being harmful or detrimental to my life.  I trust her, and I do what she wants me to do.

Giving Blood

I gave blood last night for a worthy cause-  T’s enjoyment.  She put me on my knees, then got out a knife.  We’d done knife play before, but never any cutting.  She had scratched me with the blade before, causing red or pink lines to form, though there was never any blood.  Last night, she went further.

As she dragged the blade across my flesh, I felt the same scratching sensation as before.  But at one point I looked down, and there was a small amount of blood filling some of the lines.  Not bleeding actively, just barely coming to the surface.

She carved “HxCL” into my chest and back, a reference to how I’m a “hardcore legend”, a running joke between some friends and I.  In addition, she also cut me in a few locations on the chest, abdomen, shoulders, and back.  The sensation wasn’t much different than the normal scratching she’d done previously, which I found surprising.  It added another dimension to the emotional aspect of knife play since now she had the option of actually cutting me.

When I look in the mirror, most of the cuts are still visible, but one stands out on my left shoulder and chest.  It’s bolder, stronger than the other cuts she made.  I’m still processing everything, but I get pleasant feelings when I see that.

A little while after carving the sub, we tried out a new toy I got.  I bought a white canvas straitjacket a couple weeks ago that I’d been itching to try.  The price surprised me- $40, and it’s machine washable.  Which is a good thing, considering we got it a little bloody during its first use.  It held up well.  Once she had me strapped in, T gagged me before proceeding to strap on a massive dildo, bend me over, and fuck me.

For 40 minutes.

Ack.  That was brutal.  I couldn’t even beg her to stop since I was gagged.  (We did have a safe-signal set up in case of emergency.)  At one point, I thought she was done, and I relaxed, letting out a long sigh of relief.  At that point, T put me on my back and kept going.  By then, all I could do was struggle against the straitjacket and whimper incomprehensibly into the gag.  I was pleading with my eyes for her to stop.  She towered over me, smiling and laughing at my torment, knowing I was unable to stop her.  That image is still cemented firmly in my head.  Her pleasure was clearly evident in her face, and her smile had a slight mocking quality to it.  Her power and my lack of control as she violated me were mind-boggling.  Such intense feelings.

After we were done, we got some of the toys cleaned up and cuddled for a while.  After lots of talking and cuddlification, when we were about to get to bed, she told me to get the bed warmed up and that she’d be right in.  Soon she was walking toward me, and she had a cup of water.  That was nice of her.  But she also had a wicked look in her eyes.  I wondered why since we’d been done playing for a while by then.  As she crawled onto the bed, I realized that it wasn’t water, and the “oh shit” alarm went off in my brain.  She handed me the cup and made me drink her piss.  Disgusting.  And with every grimace and shudder, her smile got bigger, and that reminded me why I was doing it.

Wobbly from a Wicked Weekend

T and I took a trip for the weekend.  We went to Winter Wickedness, an event I’ve been going to for a few years now.  It was her first time there.  Two nights of play parties, vendors, classes, socializing with like-minded pervs, and free chocolate in the social area.

We may not have played in public much, but we did a lot of private play, which I much prefer anyway; no time limit for how long you can play, no need for immediate clean-up, no worries over people giving you enough space, no restrictions on types of play allowed, etc.

Saturday morning, my breakfast consisted of T’s rather sizable cock in my ass.  We woke up and started milling around.  Then she told me to bend over the edge of the bed and proceeded to violate me.  Afterward, she went into the bathroom to get cleaned up.  She came out and said, “Darling, I hope you’re thirsty” and handed me a water bottle with a smirk on her face.  However, this water was rather yellow.  And warm.  First piss of the day.  Gack.  My stomach shot up into my throat and I thought, “Oh, fuck, please no…”  But she made me drink it all, and afterward we went downstairs to catch one of the classes.  We ended up being 5-10 minutes late for the class, but it wasn’t an issue.

Halfway through the class, one of the people teaching the class said that in spite of all his time in the bdsm community, he was still learning new things.  He said he just recently found out what pegging meant.  Then he smiled, looked at me, and remarked, “You know what pegging is, don’t you, guy in the collar?”  (T had me wearing a collar all weekend.)  We both got a good laugh out of that comment because pegging is the very reason we were late for that class.

She ended up sodomizing me six times that day.  Or maybe it was seven.  She fucked me senseless, so I don’t remember the exact number.  And for most of those fuck-fests, she used the larger cock.  She fucked me until I was begging her to stop.  But she didn’t stop.  She kept going despite my sincere pleas.  That really brought the power she has to the forefront.  The last time that she fucked me that night, it was in public, in one of the larger side rooms.  And we were drawing quite a crowd by the end of it; we were the only ones playing in this room at the time, but there were 12-15 people sitting or standing around the perimeter to watch by the time we were done.  Strap-on sex isn’t something you see very often in public events.

All day Saturday, every time I was in our hotel room’s bathroom, I saw that empty water bottle on the counter, staring at me.  Why didn’t she throw it away?  Was she planning on doing it again?  That thought hung out in the back of my mind all day.  Sunday morning before check-out, she threw it away.  She had left it there intentionally as a mindfuck.  And it worked.  Rather well.

T had been keeping me locked in chastity for a long time, and she set a new record for denying my orgasms- two months and three weeks.  No one has ever taken my orgasms for that long.  And she made sure I was thoroughly teased every chance she got.  But she finally let me orgasm Saturday night.  As we were laying in bed that night, she told me she wanted me to cum, so I didn’t waste any time in working toward that end.  She brought her bare foot up to my face, and I started to kiss it.  She’d been wearing leather boots all night, and her foot was only in my face for a few seconds before I had an earth-shattering orgasm.  Now I know what it feels like to have an artillery brigade in my groin.

For Pee

There’s an upcoming event in January (Pittsburgh Play Partners Party, or 4p as it’s also known) that promises to be a fantastic time.  It’ll be held in a hotel, and there will be a play party, vendors, demos, and lots of pervitude.

In honor of the 4p event, I might end up setting up a piss play scene with four women while there.  4 pee?  Yes?  You may now pause to marvel at my extreme cleverness.

I’m still undecided on this though.  It could potentially be fun.  I haven’t floated the idea by very many people because I’m not sure if I want to do this or not.  Some days I’m pretty enthusiastic and entertained by the idea, and others I’m a bit more apathetic toward the idea.