Happy Scripted Romance Day!

I normally don’t celebrate VD, but I thought I’d make an exception here.  Nothing says “romance” quite like a bunch of flowers jammed into some guy’s urethra.

I’d Like to Apply for a Loan…

Yay for CBT!

For water?  I’m not so sure about that.  For fun?  Absolutely.

GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!

Elle commented on my last post, saying, “Ball kicking??? That sounds not so nice”.  I was going to reply in the comment section, but I think ball-kicking deserves an entry all its own.

(By the way, if you haven’t checked out her blog, pop on over and take a look.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait here.)

At first, the idea of being kicked in the balls scared me.  I’d had some experience with lighter ball-slapping and squeezing, and I got into that.  But kicking just seemed so far beyond what I’d experienced, so extreme, which made me reluctant.  Seeing video clips of kicking got me curious though.  It just looked so painfully sexy.

My first experience with ball-kicking came at a private party at the home of some friends.  I ended up getting teamed up on by two women from out of town in a cbt scene.  After that, I got a chance to explore it more in a relationship; as in any relationship, she was better at reading me than strangers were, which made it more intense with her.  Since then, it’s grown to be one of my favorite types of play.

I’m not talking about running-start full-swing kicks here.  Even pulling the leg back just a foot can provide lots of intensity.  Like any other type of pain play, warm-up is important.  During the warm-up, gentle slaps to the balls can register a 9 out of 10.  As the scene wears on, I can take more and more.

This type of play appeals to me on a few different levels.

First off, this is a type of pain which I translate as erotic.  Getting kicked in the balls (in this context) gets me achingly hard.  Some types of pain are erotic, some are non-erotic; this is the former for me.

This is also, in a way, using my foot fetish against me.  The target of my fetish is the same part causing me this intense pain.  Having to kiss and lick her feet after the scene adds even more eroticification, since I’m kissing the part of her body that just hurt me.

The perspective is wonderful as well.  Kneeling with my legs spread, knowing what’s coming, looking up at the domme………yowza.  Much of the time, the domme is clothed and I’m nekkid, which only adds to the feel of power imbalance.  Looking up in this situation, she seems 20 feet tall and incredibly powerful.

Immediately after a kick, as the pain explodes within me, I have no choice but to stay kneeling, with the domme towering above me.  This makes me feel deliciously helpless.  I can’t fight back at this point.  All I can do is look up and see her smiling, laughing, enjoying the pain she caused.

a couple of fantasies

There are two fantasies that have been doing laps in my head for a while now.  And I’m going to share them with you, because Barney says caring means sharing.

The first is to cum in a glass of the domme’s piss, then be made to drink it all.  I’ve been made to drink piss and eat my cum before, but the two combined seems to really crank up the “eew make it stop” factor.  Drinking the piss before an orgasm is hard enough; having to drink it after one seems like it’d be more intense and disgusting.  This is one of those types of play where, at the moment, I’m thinking “no no no I don’t want to do this this is disgusting yick eew stop it now!”………but later, I think, “Hey, that was really hot!”

The other fantasy involves one of these-

Ball-kicking and squeezing are my favorite forms of cbt.  These things look like they could be fun along those same lines.  But the description says that when it’s tightened down as far as possible, there’s 1″ of room between the plates.  I’m not sure that’d be enough to cause a more intense level of pain.

These things used to really scare me.  But since I’ve gained more experience with ball-kicking, I’ve grown to enjoy (I use that word loosely) more intense ball pain.

I’ve seen a few pics with these (or something similar) in use.  The guys’ balls look reeeeeally squished and sore.  Yum.  I wonder if there’s a way to modify it so it goes lower than 1″.  Then again, it might be better just to make one myself.  I could probably throw one together with stuff from the hardware store- a hinge, two pieces of material, and two bolts with wing-nuts.  I do like the clear top, so maybe I can find a piece of plexiglas or lexan.

On the other hand, I’m not sure just how far the boys can be flattened before rupturing.  Exploding testicles are not my idea of a good time.  Nor is a trip to the ER.

grrrrrr

This past weekend, I went to a 2-day bdsm event in the next state with a few friends.  There were about ten other people there from our city as well, and over 200 others.  Lots of workshops during the day, and a party both nights.  Definitely a fun time.

On the second night, I ended up playing with a good friend, one of the people I carpooled with.  She’s always loads of fun to play with.  She rides that balance between sexy, fun, and “OW OW OW MAKE IT STOP PLEEEEASE!!!”.  We did cbt.  She tied my arms behind my back and sat in a chair, with me standing in front of her.  She started to slap my balls, first gently, then harder and harder.  Then she got out some rather large knitting needles and beat my balls with those for a while.

That was the warm-up.

Next she had me kneel down in front of her with my legs spread comfortably.  That’s when she started kicking.  Not full-force field-goal style kicks, but powerful enough to make me gasp, whimper, and, at one point, collapse to the floor.  Yum.

After a couple minutes of this, I started to get a bit lightheaded.  That’s not normal for me.  We’ve done this harder and longer in the past without any problems.  So I told her, and I sat down on the floor.  It kept getting worse, and everything started to get that weird boxed-in sound.  I laid on my back and put my knees up.  A couple minutes later, I felt better.  So that was the end of the scene.

This happened the last time we played too.  Same thing- lightheadedness during cbt, though the first time it wasn’t as intense as it was this weekend.  That first time, it was at a local party at a public dungeon.  But it was hot in that dungeon, so I attributed it to that.  This past weekend, it was fairly hot in the play space too, though not as bad as the dungeon here was.   So I’m not sure if I can chalk it up to the heat or not.  Apart from these two times, this has never happened before.  I’m thinking that if we can do this in private (we occasionally play privately) without any problems, then it’s got to be the heat.  She always keeps her place cool.  So if there are no problems at her place, then it’s the heat that did it.  But if it does happen, I’m not sure what to make of it.  Ball-kicking is one of my favorite types of play, and I’d much rather not have to give it up.

I’m pissed off that this happened at all.  It was right when things were getting nice and intense, right at that point when my brain is screaming “yes” and “no” at the same time. I feel like I disappointed her by taking away a great scene.  She’s made it clear that she knows it’s not my fault, and she’s not mad or anything.  But I am.  This shouldn’t have happened.

I did get to take my new impact implement case.  It came the day before we left, so I didn’t get a chance to modify the interior.  The foam needed removed in order to make it roomier.  I trimmed the foam some with a razor and used it; it worked, but didn’t look the greatest inside.  So I removed the foam once we got back, and right now I’m waiting for the glue to dry- I bought some foam batting and some red crushed-velvet-ish fabric, and I’m redoing the interior with that.

And while I didn’t get to try my new cane, it’s coming.  She wants to try that sometime, along with giving me a thorough spanking with vampire gloves.  I’m very much looking forward to that.

my cock is the center of the solar system

I’ve run into a few people recently who’ve complained that cbt is phallocentric.  My immediate response is typically “Well yeah!”  I mean, it’s a cock and balls. It can’t be anything other than that.  Impact play on the ass is ass-centric.  Foot play is foot-centric.  Nipple play is nipple-centric.  Every type of play involving a specific body part can be seen as whatever-centric.

But my next thought is that I don’t hear these same people complaining that breast bondage is tit-centric or that pussy torture is vagocentric.  Where are all their complaints with those types of play?

Let me explain something.  There are these people called “sadists”.  These sadists get enjoyment from causing pain.  Pretty simple, right?  Kicking someone in the balls, slapping his cock around, or squeezing his juevos are all painful.  Some sadists get off on doing this.  They enjoy it.  It’s not a case of the sub putting a gun to someone’s head and forcing her to torment his goodies.

To me, their vague complaints reek of the whole “men aren’t supposed to enjoy bdsm” attitude.  It’s perfectly fine for female masochists to get off on receiving pain, but not men.  Riiiiight.

I think the people who object to cbt as being phallocentric have deeper issues beyond some perceived phallic conspiracy.  It’s not a hard concept; some people find that kind of pain erotic.  It’s not a power trip.  It’s just hot.